First time use of a Tampon

I'm going to be brutally honest here. Tampons are so hard to get in the first time. This happened a while back in 2006 when I had a Geography field trip to Fraser Island and my menstruation had to come when I was there. That meant I could not swim and enjoy with the other students. Men have so much freedom when it comes to things like this, I mean, they don't have to worry about staining their clothes when their out, cramps, and most importantly, swimming. Yes. We have tampons but inserting a foreign object which might give you TSS (Toxic Shock Syndrome) isn't appealing. With pads on the other hand, if you don't change it, people will start to notice whether you do have your period as a suspicious smell arises when they sit next to you. Yuck. I know.

Back to the topic, when I was in Fraser Island, my close buddy had tampons as she suspected she was going to have her period too. I wasted about 3 of her tampons as I could not fiddle it in. Goddamn it was hard!!! The instructions on the pamphlet was good for nothing as it did not help.

After that, I gave up as I was wasting her supply of tampons and it was no use. Watching others enjoying themselves from afar was painful. Not giving up on this incident, I tried using it again the following month. Failure. The month after that. Failure. And the month after that. Failure. I gave up.

Today, I went to the convenience store around the corner from where I was staying to get a pack of cigarettes and remembered to replenish my stock on pads. Looking at the femine section, I browsed through the tampon section again. This time, I found the slim ones and gave it a shot.

[I got my period today, just to let you know XD] I unwrapped it and putting myself in a position in which a rider would mount his horse, I inserted it... and... TA-DA!! It worked! I was so pleased! Guess the trick is to find the position which suits you the most and experimenting with it can make it work. Being relaxing and not thinking positive is the way to go too I guess. Although now, thinking back of the TSS is a bit scaryy........

Birthday Lunch @ Little Creatures Brewery [27/09/2008]

"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."

-Benjamin Franklin

"Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer."

-Dave Barry

In celebration of my 18th birthday, I organized a small lunch gathering at Fremantle's most famous brewery, Little Creatures. Even though it is a brewery, they have a restaurant within the brewery and most of the food there are freshly made. They even have a clay oven, which means they have one of the best woodfired pizzas! Unfortunately, my plan of having 10 + friends turned out to be a failure and only 4 managed to make it. At least it's better than nothing right?

Yofero, Kelvin, Bel and Takeshi were the only ones that managed to turn up for it. Me and Bel were starving and could not wait to order.

Takeshi and Bel

Kelvin and Yofero

Mass Communications Diploma 2008 students :D

Fresh fries [even the skin of the potato was on! And it's damn good too!!] and pickled octupus.

Chilli and tomato Mussels.

The inside of the brewery.

Takeshi, Me and Bel

Look! We're like sisters! We each have a nose piercing!

Birthday Surprise! [Eve of my 18th Birthday]

I just turned 18 when MSN crashed and sent me into bouts of fury. One can clearly hear my rantings from outside my room. Then I got a knock on the door. Upon opening it, I see my house mates, Kristy, Stephanie, K, Albert and Ka-ti, with a chocolate mud cake and presents! I can say this is one of the most touching experience I've received throughout my 18 years on this earth. I feel loved. Everyone looked stoned though, most of them had lack of sleep.

From Ka-ti, I received a bottle of red wine. Kirsty and Albert presented me with Smiggle Thick Colour Pencils (I was surprised to hear that Albert remembered that I loved drawing and colouring. Very thoughtful gift.) and from Stephanie and K, I received a jewelery box which had a dangling lock with the number 18 engraved on it. Very pretty!

18th Birthday!!

1 more Day!!!!

Silent Suffocation

I am frustrated with all the little things that is happening so far. Contented I should be, but I feel like I want to drive a screwdriver through someone's skull at this point in time. Most of all, I'm frustrated at myself. I feel like such a loser at times. I am angry, but I do not see where the anger comes from. Deep within my heart, where a chasm filled with hatred, anger and frustration is growing bigger and bigger until one day it shall consume me whole. Is it because I'm living in a world so full of restraints, built on nothing but lies? They tell you to be an individual but yet when you try so hard to be an "individual" you end up looking like everyone else. Where has your individuality gone? Once you try to do something different, others view you as a freak of nature. Why? Cause you don't fit into the norm of society. The society determines what is "right" and "wrong". Once you breach the normality of the society, you've entered "FREAK" mode. Just a day ago, I had a discussion with Mother and she has obviously been brain-washed inside out. Don't get me wrong, I love her but at times I feel as if I have been suffocated for so long due to my utmost respect for her. Her mentality and perception on being "decent" is so stereotypical of the society. No tattoos, no piercings, be Lady-like blah blah blah.

I'm sorry but I am not your average girl if you haven't noticed. I never was and never will be. I can if I pretend but where is the originality to that? You live to other people's expectations and where do you end up? Unsatisfied, filled with hatred for oneself.

What's even worse, when you try not to care about what other's think of you, they come and hammer it into your face. An example, I know I'm fat cause I don't exercise nor am on any diet regime what-so-ever and then BAM. Someone says to you "You've put on weight didn't you?". For crying out loud. I don't judge you by how you look, will you just fuck off? Why? If I'm fat, what does it matter? Fat people can't be nice or friendly or be normal? FACE IT. I WILL ALWAYS BE A LITTLE BIT ON THE FAT SIDE. DEAL WITH IT. I don't want to be the girl I was 4 years ago, anorexic because I tried to live to other people's expectations. Guess what. You want to think I'm fat and not be friends because of that. Fine. Fuck off. Your friendship means nothing to me if you're that pathetic to think that a person's personal development is based on their outward appearance. Yes. Everyone is shallow to a certain extent, but please don't judge me by how I look. You're no better. Talk to me when you are voted one of the most beautiful people in the world. Then you have the right to snobbishly mock me. Even then, no one's perfect.

So how dare you make such a shallow comment when you're not perfect.

Don't get me wrong. Being absolutely truthful is good but some things are better left unheard. Keep it to yourself for fuck's sake. Maybe when I asked for it, then it's my own consequence to bear. If not, your thoughts are worthless and what's worse, it's hurtful to others. And, oh what I hate most is when you're all talk and no action comes out of what you say. Such lies. Not even an initiative to help when someone's in need. Utter Bull.

And oh! Not to mention the occasional MR. OBVIOUS. Don't you just hate them and feel like strangling them with their ties? Look pal, I may be young but I am hell not THAT stupid. Don't you think that I might already know that? I turn to you for Comfort not fucking advice that I've done some time ago. All I need is a shoulder to cry on. And it has been a long time since I've cried on some one's shoulder. Yet again, I get called "immature" cause I long to find someone who will for once listen to my woes and comfort me. Fine. Call me what you want. I really don't give a fuck as to what you perceive me to be. How many 17 year olds do you find doing absolutely everything for themselves? I know many that are still at home and sucking off their parents one way or another. I am not. I feed, wash, dress myself and hold myself quite well thank you. Why is age always a matter? I'm human too you know. I have the right to rant and scream when I want. Just because you handle things discreetly does not make you any more mature than I am. I want to find someone that won't put me down in everthing I do. Silent suffocation.

I admit. I am lonely. What I hate is when people tell me this: "You're so young, you've got a long way to go mate. BLAHHH BLAAAHHHH BLAHHHHHHHHHHHHH" Guess what fuckwit. Spare me the lecture and think about this. I may be young but I HAVE FEELINGS. "So much things to do to keep yourself occupied, so why are you complaining about being single". Hey. Wait a minute. Doing things yourself is fine but absolutely painful when you can't share it. I am 17/18 but I also want to feel loved too.

Here it is. All of my Silent Suffocation.

Sshh..

MCI111 <-- I HATE IT WITH A PASSION

Assessment 3: Major Essay [35%]
Length: 1500 words
Due: 26th September 2008 <-- One day after my birthday T_T Task: Choose ONE Topic only
Choose a technological development which has had significant effects in the field of media, communication, or information which interests you most. Discuss the impact of this development on the work of professionals in your field.
OR
Choose a technological development which has had significant effects in the field of media, communication or information which interests you most. Disscuss the impact of this development on society in general.

DO NOT CHOOSE THE INTERNET AS A GENERAL TOPIC BUT INSTEAD CONCENTRATE ON SOME MORE SPECIFIC ASPECT OF NETWORKED INFORMATION. T_T

What the hell. Isn't the Internet a part of the technological development in which mankind has created? Has it not brought any significant change in the society? I'm stuck with this essay in which I was so inspired to start tonight but instead it will be postponed as tomorrow's work as I haven't got a fucking clue as to what I am meant to write. Ideas. Ideas. Come to me. Nope. I think I've just got a writer's block. I pray for the day that I graduate from university and start working in the hospitality sector. I have lost all of my creativity since the day I failed Art in high school. Let' see. The invention of the telephone? Not too bad.

Telegraph --> Telephone --> Mobile phones

How it affects the general public: [brain storming]

Since the creation of the telegraph, it has allowed mankind to communicate much faster, saving up time and distance. Mobile phones are the rave in today's society as they are compact and like its name "mobile", allowing full access even if one is on-the-go. One can now easily access the Internet or contact their relatives, friends and collegues or even do business with this technological device. It has certainly changed the way in which us humans communicate.

Shit. This is as much as I can come up without having to open a book. This is short. How the hell am I to come up with 1500 words for this essay? Guess I'll have to ramble on the history of communication too, gah, I'll look it up tomorrow. I'm excited yet so disgusted with the things I have to do. Just concentrate Mesha. Keep thinking of Thursday and all the alcohol you can buy and consume. Consume so much that it'll drown all of your unspoken sorrows and anger and frustration.

Countdown to 18th Birthday -- 2 days!

Another Friggin Tag -- This is the last I swear [Only for you Jess aka Nuala]

THE SELF
[01] Name: Mesha Chow
[02] Nickname: Mesha
[03] Married: No
[04] Zodiac Sign: Libra
[05] Gender: Female
[06] Age: 18 (1990)
[07] High School: SMK Sri Sentosa [2003-2005]; Mountain Creek State High School [2005 - 2007]
[08] College: Curtin Internation College
[09] Height: Don't know
[10] Weight: Not telling
[11] Do you like yourself: Like? I love myself.
[12] Piercings: 2 on each earlobe, both tragus and a nose piercing.
[13] Right or left: Right
[14] Are you a freak : Goth wanna be freak
[15] Hair: Black with faded copper bits [from dyeing my hair red last year]
[16] Skin: Naturally tanned
[17] Allergic: Dust and pollen
[18] What are you doing now: Relaxing and smoking the occasionally ciggy in my room
[19] What will you do 1 hour later: Still chatting on KSCB
[20] What will you do 10 years later: Hopefully well travelled and own a home of my own with a partner
[21] Live with mother/father/parents: nope. All on me own
[22] Siblings(included you): Only me...
[23] Eldest: me!
[24] Youngest: me!
[25] Love/hate your family: LOVE!

LOVE LIFE
[26] You found your another half: Nope. Still Lookingg..
[27] If yes, who is he/she: -
[28] If no, who you want he/she to be: Can I say Prince Nuada? =)
[29] Time(s) you in relationship: -
[30] Ever woo boy/girl(0-100000): HAHA nope, in that aspect, I'm traditional
[31] Anyone woo you before(0-100000): Once, but moi is pickyy
[32] Did anything wrong to your other half: -
[33] What was/were the wrong you had done:-
[34] Ever argue with your other half: -
[35] You with your other half since:-
[36] Are you straight/Lesbo: Straight although I think Shane from the L Word is HAWT.
[37] Reasons you love your other half:-
[38] You and your other half in which stage: -
[39] You woo he/she or he/she woo you: -
[40] Ever think of marry he/she: -
[41] Your first best friend: Serena
[42] Your first enemy: Don't know
[43] The friend you love the most: Those who help me when I'm in dire need.
[44] The enemy you hate the most(1only): No one in particular
[45] Your most beautiful girl friend: Katharina although I don't see her anymore
[46] Your most handsome guy friend: NONE
[47] The kind of girl you hate the most: Those really whiny ones. Not to mention Bimbos
[48] The kind of boy you hate the most: perverts, smell bad and are dirtyy
[49] You fall in love with your close friend before: -
[50] Your best friend is your ex-lover: -
[51] If your friend backstabbing you: Ignore them forever
[52] If your friend betray you: Never speak of that friendship again
[53] If your friend woo your lover: Oh well. I trust he knows what to do =) and kill the bitch of course
[54] If your friend fall in love with you: Depends how I feel about that friend too.
[55] If you fall in love with your best friend: Don't have THAT kind of feeling towards them

STUDIES
[56] Are you a good student: No
[57] You always done your homeworks/assignments: Yeps
[58] The teacher/tutor you love the most: -
[59] Always late to school/college: Most of the time. I like arriving er.. fashionably late :P
[60] Your class: Dead boring
[61] You love your seniors: What seniors?
[62] Senior who you love the most: -
[63] Your classmates good/bad: so-so
[64] Excellent result classmate: Bex Wilson
[65] Laziest classmate: Don't know

THE PEOPLE
[66] Smart people: Bex
[67] Stupid people: ?
[68] Good looking people: Kirsty Lee
[69] Ugly people: Not telling whooo..
[70] Funny people: Anushka
[71] Cute people: Li Ying
[72] Bad people: People who say they'll help but are all talk and no action Hanny
[73] Honest people: Zom
[74] Acting people: Hanny
[75] You are what kind of people: Crazyy

PREFERATION
[76] Lip or eyes: Both
[77] Hugs or kisses: Both
[78] Shorter or taller: Taller
[79] hesitant or spontaneous: spontaneous
[80] Nice stomach or nice arms: Both
[81] Listener or talker: Both
[82] Romantic or rich: Both
[83] Good husband or Good Father: Husband - Don't want kids.

THE FUTURE
[84] Age to get marry: 28 and beyong
[85] Numbers of kid(s): I HATE KIDS
[86] Career: Flight Attendent if not in the creative industry
[87] Salary: 5-figure income =)
[88] Retirement age: Hopefully not too old
[89] Properties value: HIGH
[90] Wishes: that I get to travel all over and find someone who loves me more than I do.

18th Birthday Countdown

Acting [Part 1]

I am acting. God, have mercy on the audience who are to view the screening in a few week's time for I have no acting talent whatsoever. Believe me, I would love to act but cannot. I think I got a C+ for Drama wayy back in Year 10. Fail. I know. My friend took Film & Television this semester as I took it last semester and since they could not find any actress to plat the role, I got asked! O_______O

Bex, Kristen, Li Ying and Kirsty

Li Ying and I.

I am suppose to look depressed. I SWEAR IT'S ALL MAKE-UP!!!

Bex in the bathtub. Sigh. The things we do for the sake of FTV.

Camwhore

Kirsty looks as if she is dancing XD

Bex is frowning at me for taking her photo, but she looks so cute here!!!

Then she hides behind the lamp =.=''

The instrument used to bounce light onto the actor's face when subtle light is needed.

The shots done for the day!

Me in emo mood but I look like a friggin aunty..

Checking the script

Kirsty's turn to hide!

Then I was made to eat this. THIS!!! Porridge made with water. Yuck. I had to mix it with lots of honey so I wouldn't gag. With honey, it didn't taste TOO bad.

My expression was like this though

After the hardwork, me and the girls headed out for Friday Late Night shopping!