Keep on Knocking and You Will Find it!!

Finally! After so much persistance I finally got through to Mother!! The magic age of 18 is when I shall get my nose pierced!! So many things will be happening on this day! I will be:

1. Moving out.
2. Legally Drinking
3. Legally going to clubs
4. Getting my nose pierced!

Aiyo..first time pose for camera with no make-up. Now this is what I call a shit cheap shot. Anyways..I've got my horns!! Finally I suit my middle name - Evil!

March 30, 2008

"She has a ding dong?"

Sunday. Just another ordinary day. Well, not really..it's the end of the horrid daylight saving. Turning the hands of the clock one hour behind, we are now in the same time zone as Malaysia! So much easier to keep track of time back home isn't it? Well other than that, it made me wake up thinking it was 8.30am only to realise later that I've woken up at 7.30am. That usually means me turning over and going back to sleep. Missed the bloody bus and got to the Student Council meeting half an hour late..They say "fashionably" late right?

Meeting's over and I could not be dead bothered to go back to the house and spend another fucking hour in front of the computer. There is a life outside the cyber world..right? Budd, Alister and Viran had something to do. Ai Lin had something to do a bit later so she could go window shopping with me. Now that's depressing. Window shopping -why? Can see, no touch. Khaled seemed bored and decided to drag a guy window shopping. First time with a guy shopping, I tell you it's hilarious. If you are a girl with a guy friend, drag him along shopping. Fortunately, he likes shopping but couldn't find a turtle neck. Let's see..what else what do you do with a male friend? Pick an outfit and make it put it on. OK!

Khaled posing...

But it was David Jones..Unless you have no where else to really spend your money, go there for overpriced branded shirts. They do have really nice stuff there if you really have the money. Back to the story, Khaled and Hanny were suppose to go to a BBQ in Canning Vale and since it was along the way, why not send me back right? We left Perth at around 1:15pm and guess what? We got lost..we got further and further and further away from Perth. Two guys! What do you expect, we had to get lost somewhere to prove that men has no sense of direction what so ever. We drove and drove and drove and ended up at McDonald's for lunch. Down the drain to my detox program as I had a rather hearty meal of a Quater Pounder Meal.

Khaled singing in the car is a signal of deafness. Hanny and I tried almost everything to shut him up. But how are you to stop a man from singing? Blasting the music made it worse. So round and round with a singing maniac in the front seat until I need a swap. And I've learnt something new. Give a mad man your camera and he'll camwhore himself onto your camera. Evidence!

We did manage to get out of the strange area and send me home. Undefeated, I refused to sit in front of the computer and use it. Called Hanny and Khaled again to organise an outing to the movies. Mother called interestingly enough and had an appointment to speak to her at 8pm. In between all movie session times. Long story short - ended up in Hanny's apartment talking to my mother on Skype.

She raised a good question: Why are the two people I'm hanging with are both guys. Guys from the Middle East? How am I to answer that question? Cause I fit in? Ok..As one of the guys. How that works I have absolutely no idea. Don't want to know either. Maybe I'm too boyish in personality. Ok that did not sound right. But I'm still definately a girl!

Ended up at the movies late so we watched Drillbit Taylor instead of the original plan of Step Up 2. It was hilarious in a sick way really. On the way back, I needed Hanny to stop me at the Gas station to get "something". Hanny jokingly said "What are you getting at this time? Condoms?" And then the idiot at the back started laughing..Why? "Why do you need a condom for..OMG! You have a ding-dong!?" Bloody fool...I'll get him back on day. Seriously I could hear him chuckling all the way back to my house..

Let's See...

Update!! There's...NOTHING..Sorry guys..There is nothing interesting in my life at the moment..But there's a discussion about me being manly? haha feel free to comment away..

I Want My Tragus and Nose Done

"I want my nose done but I'm held up by the society of yesterday"

I've always been fascinated with body modification. In other words tattoos and piercings. I absolutely am fascinated with them. What restricts me? The older generation. I love my Mother to death but she just doesn't give me the freedom I've been looking for so long. Yes I get other liberties as well like going out with friends til late at night and no set sleeping period but I long to do something to my body and her respecting my wishes once. I'm turning 18 soon, and as some people said - "Go do it. You're 18 soon and you're legally allowed to do what you want. Mother can't stop you then."

On a conscious level, I do not want to break a rather good relationship with my mother. As a single mother, she has single-handedly raised me and we've bonded like sisters. I don't want to break this bond. Then why do it eh? It's just the reason that I finally want to have control over my own body and what I do. I'm, of course, willing to take the consequences of my actions. Be more matured as they say.

http://wiki.bmezine.com/index.php/Image:Nostril_Piercing-3.jpg

So I'm now torn in between the two. To do what I long and yearned to do for a long time and

respect the relationship I have with Mother. I did have a serious discussion with her once and I don't know how to explain this, but you know how mothers can change and twist the topic? It ended up being something to do with me not concentrating on my studies. I was like WTF? I have like 5 days off a week in college. Oh yeah..Sure I'm not going to concentrate. 2 days a week..hmm How long can I slack?

And the other reason was that I shouldn't do it in college. I was like: "Mum, if you had said that when I was in high school, I would have understood. I'm now in college and about to hit 18." (Moreover you're not going to celebrate my 18th anyways -so at least let me get something I want for my 18th if you're not going to be here.)

She then rambled on how our asian/Chinese nose's cartiledge is rather thick and it would hurt more. I was again like..I had my tongue done once. I think my tongue is thicker than my nose. Gah..Thinking about it makes me frustrated. I SOOO wanna get it done but now restricted by my own conscience.

Forgetting the nostril, I have also been thinking about a tragus piercing. If you don't know what a tragus is: This pic should explain it.

Taken from http://wiki.bmezine.com/index.php/Tragus_Piercing

Yeah..here's an example of what it is. I have been looking at it even through Year 12 where one of my ex-classmates got it done and looked so pretty on her. She didn't get the ring like this one but a nice diamante bar.

What to do? I'm going to discuss it further with my mother. Never Give Up! Never Surrender!!

Sunday, 16th July 2008

Let's see.. Today is the first day I started my detox program and I was looking forward to this self-cleansing shit that everyone has been raving about - especially used to lose weight. I couldn't find the Lemon Detox so I just opted for the Australian made 4.3.2.1 Detox plan. Combined two plans to make it more effective. What should I say? It works? I went to the toilet like twice in the morning after taking them. Is that called cleansing? Bowel cleansing to be exact.

Woke up at 8am and got out and about around 8:45am but since it's Sunday (and for those who do not live in Australia - Sunday is a shit time to be catching a bus), the bus system is slow. Had the Student Council meeting on at a place called Karawarra. Decided to walk there and it was definately faster.. Skipping the boring bits. I met up with Budd..again we were the only 2. Where was Mr. President? Late..lol He arrived like around 11am-ish, almost an hour after the expected time. So, me and Budd decided to do what we were meant to do - discuss about the activites, budget and other ideas. I left at around 11:30am to catch the bus to get to the City in order to meet my grandparent's best mate. We then went to a Chinese restaurant in the city. Mr.Lee's wife reminded me of my grandma, where she would serve me more food. I had an interesting chat with her daughter. They dropped me off at Garden City where they had a bigger cinema and more choices. I met Khaled and Hanni there to watch Run Fat Boy Run! It was a rather stupid movie but at least it had some meaning to it. And the ticket prices? $15.50AUD Holy Fuck! It's alot! I didn't pay it though..yet! Hanni paid for it..So I owe him some.. XD

The movie starts at 5pm and we had around an hour and a half to kill so Khaled changed some of his money and we ended up spending most of it on Time Crisis 4. It was fun teaming up and I actually went further than I expected us to go! We ran out of money however..

And to stop NerdyFred's craving for a pic of me *ahem* I had to camwhore myself to show you..Damn you Fred!!

Now look at this!! Look what you have reduced me to Fred!!

It's Nice Being Appreciated!

Ahh..for once all the things I do is finally being recognised at least. Nothing huge but I think it's great that at least there's a recognition. Here's some of the common emails that Budd sent to the members of the Student Council recently:

Minutes of the meeting
Hey folks,I'd just like to take this opportunity to thank everyone for turning up on for the Monday meeting. :) I tell you, it really was a treat to see so many bums on seats. :P lol.. No no, I'm only joking. But on a serious note, thank you guys for coming and we look forward to working with each and everyone of you during the trimester.Anyways, what am I going to rant about today? lol.. nothing really. Just the Minutes of the meeting. So, here I go.
Date: 10/03/08Time: 12:30 - 1:30
Classroom: 205.313B

1. Introduction Of the new and the old members.

2. Proposed activities
Mentioning of the activities we plan to do this trimester such as barbeques, network gaming session, basketball tournament etc. And yeah, that was pretty much all of it. We had some great new ideas from the new folks such as paintball/laser-shoot-out-game-thingy (lol..excuse me, I don't know the right name for it). And one I liked in particular was a Multi-Cultural Feast.

Mesha, one of our newest members took the trouble to write me up an email about it. Have a read."To Budd, Hiya! This is Mesha here. Just sending an email about the Multi-Cultural Feast that you seemed interested in. Since this is an International College, perphaps we could do something where we share something from our individual culture. This could be done with perphaps bringing our local food to let others try and experience it.The last time I did it, we just had a huge table and we piled on the food on the table with labels and which country it was from. There were some pretty interesting comments.
Also, you somehow brought up the topic of a chili eating contest. Seems pretty interesting and it would be fun to have."

Anyways, I should mention. These are just ideas hovering by at the moment. We will focus on a couple of things pretty soon enough. .....
.........................................................................................................................................................................

Budd. "

Here's another one I read today:
March Barbeque 2008: Successful

Hey folks,Anyone who would have walked past the CIC building today during lunch would have definetly turned their heads around twice! :)

In other words, we had a really good turnout. :) Everyone seemed to love the idea of free food. Hmm... that's very strange. :P lol. Anyways, before we get into the celebrating phase I'd just like to take this oppurtunity to thank all the people who helped out with the barbeque. Khaled, Ankeet, Subathra did a lot of the back and front work. Getting all the right equipment, foods, advertising, etc. Without these two awesome guys & gal :P we wouldn't have gotten anywhere close to what happend today. And our two newest members Mesha and Viran, stuck through the whole event from beginning to end (yes! that includes the cleaning up..lol). And not to mention the other students who helped out - Gregory, Bobby, Alister and Khaled's good friend Hani. Now, here's the interesting bit... they are not involved in the council in anyway possible.. but yet they helped! :) Aren't people just great? lol. yeah, if you see them around uni, please do pass on our thanks to those guys as well. Right.. on a serious note, the event was great and all. But we did learn a lot. Anyways.. more on that on a meeting...

I love love love being appreciated even if it's in a small form. Tis great! I'll keep this one short and simple. Wonder what to blog about next? Oh yeah! Sue made me laugh so hard I fell off the chair. My fellow Malaysian Blogger has a great sense of humour. Totally did not expect this:

-http://suemeifyoucan.blogspot.com

So to whomever that reads my blog..BEWARE!! If not..I'll unleash the monster from Hell..Muahaha (Forgive me Sue but this is damn hilarious !)

Student Council BBQ

During the first week of college, I joined most of the clubs that CIC has to offer. Including Curtin Business School. I don't even know why now...lol Anyways, one of them was Student Council, which I thought would be pretty cool. Did I mention that my social life was dead for the past 2 years now? I only started going out with friends at the end of 2007 when school ended for me. We had a meeting on Monday where we met the older Student Council members. There were quite a few people already there when I arrived. Dead Silence. Good grief..It felt as if I was at a funeral where everyone had their solemn face on. Budd, Student Council's secretary was rather cheerful and actually brought things up. Haha apparently they had more students attending this meeting than the last one. Honestly, I don't want to know what the last one was like. Their latest project was this BBQ for the CIC students. And guess what..FOC!! OMG..FOC!! (If you don't know what FOC means..it's Free Of Charge!) I could already imagine what it was going to be like. Come on, it's common sense that People+Free Food = Lots of people!!

I was on my way to CIC when Budd called me. Earlier, I sent him an email inquiring whether he needed assistance for setting it up. Turned out, it was only me and Budd to set the BBQ up. It only took 15 minutes to set things straight but turning on the BBQ was another story. It wasn't even 12:30pm and people were already there, waiting to be fed like a pack of wild animals. Anyways, by 12:40pm we got things rolling..

Here's some photos to clarify what happened: I am so bored that I have decided to do a parody.

Quizzz

Instructions:Remove 1 question from below, and add in your personal question, make it a total of 20 questions, then tag 8 people in your list, list them out at the end of this post. Notify them in their chat box that he/she has been tagged.

1. At what age do you wish to marry?

28..It's a tough one but I think I want to get married then if not later.

2. If you were to be stranded on a desert island, who are the 3 blog buddies you would take with you? Why?

Sue - cause she's a wicked blog buddy. Love chatting to her

NerdyFred- Cause he's the best thing to beat up to let go of frustration

Sze How- Hmm I dunno who else to put anymore! Hahah kidding. I want to know him better!

3. Where is the place that you want to go the most?

UK, France, Germany and back to KL..Home Sweet Home

4.If you can have 1 dream to come true, what would it be?

To be perfect.

5. Do you believe you can survive without money?

No I can't! The world is money-orientated and without it, you can't really survive unless you don't mind living on the streets. Plus I'm a shopaholic!

6. What are you afraid to lose the most?

My Mother.

7. If you win $1 million, what would you do?

I would quit whatever job I hold at that time and travel the world. Invest in it too...Money makes money!!

8. If you meet someone that you love, would you confess to him/her?

To a degree, I would. I hate being bottled up inside so it will come out eventually.

9. List out 3 good points of the person who tagged you.

Cheerful, straightforward and Crazy.

10. What are the requirements that you wish from your other half?

Oh boy, this is hard!! Erm..Caring, Loving, Romantic, Good Listener, Helpful (around the house), Honest, Understanding, Patient, Adventurous (loves travelling), Has a Good sense of Hygiene, Faithful, Kind, Optimistic, Humourous (but not Goofy; I like Witty), Interesting, and Metrosexual.

No wonder I don't have a boyfriend..

11. Which type of person do you hate the most?

Backstabbing liars, Bad listeners ( those who pretend as if they are listening but they are not), Cheaters/Unfaithful People. Sly ones are the worst! And men that I meet on chatrooms whose intentions are based on sex sex sex. And "pretend" friends who will only hang out with you when you have the money and ditch you once you're broke. These are the ones I want to kill.

12. If you are given the chance to go back to the past and make a difference, will you?

Yes I will, there are so many things to change, like be slimmer (not eat so much) and actually studying harder for my Year 12 exam. Then I wouldn't be stuck in this shithole. But haha we can't turn back the time. Stupid Question!

13. What is the thing that will make you think he/she is bad?

When they lie..

14. What do you think is the most important thing in your life?

My education is my pathway to happiness. Not the fact that I have to get a high paying professional job like being a doctor but after graduating I would love to be a flight attendent for Emirates!

15. Are you a shopaholic or not?

Yes Yes Yes!! Just bought a Roxy top and a jumper..$139.00 AUD all together for the 2..

16. If you have a chance, which part of your character you would like to change?

Have more tact and my shopping addiction! Being more hardworking too..

17. Who is the person that you can share all your problems with?

No one. Mother has er..some issues...and she is rather close in some issues..so no one!!

Mostly Mother though..I just don't tell her everything!

19. What's the thing that you're most proud of?

Where I am today..In College! And my travelling experiences!

20. Rainy day or sunny day?

Rainy. Definately!

Person who I want to tag is: Sue, NerdyFred, Sze How, Chi Kit, Michelle.

Fremantle

[Update for 9th March 2008]

This is like finally the first time ALL of the new students from our home stay went somewhere. In the beginning, Dai and Leo were lazy but we somehow managed to convince the both of them to get out and live. First stop Fremantle.

I only know the way to Perth city itself so Lydia and her boyfriend, who were former home stay kids here , volunteered to take us out. How kind of them! I find it pretty strange to see pure Chinese speaking fluent Bahasa Indonesia. It's like, DIFFERENT!

Indo-Chinese: Wilson and Lydia

Fremantle is famous for its Fish&Chips. Results are:

"A long queue and an OK Fish & Chips"

Nothing special really. The battering was good though as it was light and fluffy. I ordered an extra seafood chowder and fried squid tentacles to compliment our dish. Turns out I've been too greedy and ordered more than what I could consume. The Seafood Chowder was a disappointment in a way that it tasted like it just came out from a can and having the least amount of seafood in it. The Fried Squid tentacles were great with Sweet Chili Sauce. MmmmM..Makes my mouth water just thinking of it.

Oooh! Yummy! Fried Squid Tentacles was one of the things I tried in Fremantle's Fish & Chip Shop.


Dai seemed to enjoy it so much that he vowed to go to Fremantle every spare weekend he had. Why? The food! It sounds funny coming from a guy who only seem to like Chinese food. Glad he enjoyed it.

Dai enjoying his coke whilst eating.

Leo and his Fish & Chips!

We stopped at McDonald's for a treat of Frozen Coke as it was a pretty sunny day. Lovely day to be at the beach, but like all Asians..We avoided the sun. Dai and Leo pretty much played on the beach like little children for a while, but soon got bored. So we headed to the brewery. Being 6 months underage sucks BIG TIME! You see all the social life going on and you realise that yours is like virtually non-existent. Oh well..

Caught the bus back to Canning Vale and home sweet home. Oh! Forgot to mention that Lydia's boyfriend bought Monopoly. Love the game though I lose it all the time. We played it until 1am and still couldn't decide who wins. Finally we came to a conclusion that K would win cause she owned the most property and money. Lucky Pig! XD

Wilson setting the Monopoly: Disney Edition up..Pop-up Castle!! Whoa!!

All of us playing monopoly.

K with a grin on her face. If you look closely..look how many homes she own!!

Had a great Sunday, that's all I have to say!

Life Questions #1

"Oh, How I wish I could be free and fly away from this world, my dear.."

Life alone is like breathing for the first time. You need to be slapped by the doctor to ensure that you cry and take in air. Once you breathe, it is then an automatic habit of yours. Well, I think life alone is similar in a way in which you need some hard, sharp guidance to make sure you’re on the right path. Then things fall into place from there, as your daily activities become a routine – a habit.

Everything your parents did for you when you young you take for granted. I know I did. Little things like having freshly laundered clothes neatly stacked on your bed to be put away. Or maybe the security that you’ll be at a place without being late, cause your parents would send you to the venue instead of catching the bus with a probability of missing it. I miss it. I know I do. Or going on family holidays which meant you didn’t need to worry about the costs or accommodation – the parents already planned it all, and all you needed to do was to pack your own luggage. Well, that is if you’re old enough to pack it yourself. Any younger and your parents would be the one responsible for the packing. Boy, I miss that!

The bright side of being independent is that you can choose to do what you plan to do without the mother’s hawk eye peering over your shoulders at what you do. You can not eat your veggies, shop ‘til you drop, leave your room messy, etc. You’re basically responsible for your actions. “With great power comes great responsibility,” a quote taken from Spiderman. How true are these words! With such freedom, it comes with a price. You tend to sway and do the wrong things. For me, it’s a matter of keeping my money in my wallet and not spend it all.

Throughout ages, mankind has always been a supporter of freedom that has lead to today’s society where women can work, slaves are liberated, and etc. However, we’re still stuck within a system that has not liberated us completely. Our appearance binds us to the fashion of today’s world. We are not free to be who we are, whether or not we like it. Why should we hide behind a mask and be something we’re not? Is it really the way to true happiness?

Another example is like when I had my tongue pierced, my mother threw a fit. Why? A simple reason - guarding the family’s name. Whether you agree to my words or not, subconsciously, you will perceive people with body piercing as punks, as the culture grew from there even though body piercing history dated back thousands of years ago. So where’s the freedom in doing what we want? I know I can’t. I want to pierce my nose but that would mean a severed relationship between mum and I. Asians are by far the worst at criticizing other people. Gossips spread even with small news within a community.
So tell me now, what is freedom?

Our society is based on rules to keep things in order. Some rules are sensible and others aren’t but who are we to say that we have to follow it? At this moment, I don’t know what life is about anymore. Money? Happiness? Success? Love? Some times I think it’s overrated.

I know I know.. “Be grateful for what you have..” as mother always says. It’s true I’m grateful to have this great chance to study abroad but what is it when you’re alone and actually hold no freedom? I keep saying that I’ll be fine on my own without anyone including friends. Turned out all I want now is company. A boyfriend, perhaps, to share, learn, laugh and travel with. Until then, I sit here waiting as a self-pitying brat who knows too well that she has to study hard.

I'm Cool Sexy

Another badass quiz from eSPIN-the-Bottle... Which Sexy Are You? MY RESULT:Cool Sexy You keep it real smooth, all James Bond-style. The suave, international hotties will love you. You're sophisticated, mature, and you've got fairly expensive tastes. (And your personal hygiene? Outstanding.) Just be careful not to get too carried away. Big, bold romantic gestures are sexy and all, but there's something to be said for sharing a laugh or dancing in the rain. (As long as you're not wearing any suede.) Take This Quiz!

Love Love Me!

Another badass quiz from eSPIN-the-Bottle... Love or Lust? MY RESULT:Love Hearts and rainbows all the way -- you're a total romantic. Animal lust is nice, but you'd rather be in love with someone before you start tearing them apart. When you're in a relationship, you generally treat the other person really well. You don't cheat, and you're respectful of their differences. And when you're not in a relationship, you're selective about the people you choose to kiss or even get crushes on. You've got a great thing going on, but don't be afraid of letting that animal side come out every now and then. A couple bite marks never hurt anyone (much). Take This Quiz!

My Sense Of Humour is...

Another badass quiz from eSPIN-the-Bottle... What's Your Sense of Humor? MY RESULT:Witty The Cadillac of senses of humor. Smart, sophisticated, and people either love you or just roll their eyes at you. If you've never watched any of those "Brit-Coms," go out and rent them -- you'll love them. If you've already seen them, well, it shows. You've got a great mind and a great sense of humor. Now if only we could do something about your sense of style. (Just kidding. You look hot. Really.) Take This Quiz!

I'm How Old?

Another badass quiz from eSPIN-the-Bottle... What's Your Mental Age? MY RESULT:Middle Aged Regardless of how old your body is, up in your head, you're paying mortgages and complaining about back pain. That's great that you're so mature, but remember: it's okay to cut loose and act young every once in a while. Do your wild side a favor and stay up past 10:00 one night this week. Take This Quiz!

Mesha is Fat and is Getting FATTER!!!

"Ehh..u can fit in a corset ar?.."

- Nerdy Fred

In response to Fred's comment, here's what I've got to say:
In today's society, we are all judged by how we look like. This is inevitable. Like it or not, in our subconscious mind we judge and make comments. Snobbish comments that is. In our modern world, we all like to be skinny so we can fit into the latest outfit by our favourite designer. This is normally influenced by the advertisements showing a picture of a hot, sexy skinny model, whose probably a size 00. Yes..double 0. Not many women of today are that skinny and if they were, they were considered "lucky".

Anorexic Models can be seen on catwalks today though they have been banned in some regions of Europe which I'm supporting.

As I sit here typing out these words, I recall seeing the photos which my Mother took in Rome of the famous Michelangelo's paintings on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel. There were paintings of men, women and children but all with one similarity. They were all chubby! There were no paintings of women as skinny little things that look as if they will snap even with a blow of a wind. They were all voluptuous with curves in the right places.

Or maybe I'm just jealous that not all clothes look good on me or simply can't fit me because of my shape. Walking past magazines at a newspaper stand is always good enough to make me feel so insecure about my physical appearance. I mean, who doesn't wish that they were beautiful enough to make people's head turn? Are there people who are actually happy with the way they are? If so, let me know. I want them to teach me the secret of inner confidence and happiness.

Seriously, which girl does not want to look like that? She has the body and still maintains her boobs. Don't forget there's make-up and editing involved.

Through Myspace chatting and through recent conversation with fellow blogger Sue, I realise that I was fortunate enough to be "above average" in looks. But the reality is - that's just in photos. Make-up and posing can be deceiving. You can actually make yourself prettier than you are in real life. Underneath all these things, lies a true me. Name it - pimples, cellulite, love-handles etc. I've got them. So what's fair to say that I'm pretty, hot, etc when you don't know the real me? Take them off and I'm sure you'll be running the opposite direction.

Even though I may sit here now yapping away about being imperfect, I, myself, still judge others by appearence. I mean my head still turns for the hottest guy on the street, though I still know that he maybe a cold hearted bastard on the inside. We won't know what the person is really like until you take the time to know the other person and see past beyond all things physical.

This issue has affected me in so many levels now that I'm just basically sick of being told of who I am. I'm not blind and I can see I'm "bigger" than an average Asian women. In high school I was bullied because I was fat, with peers joking that I was "pregnant" and was mistaken for a pregnant woman. That left a scar still somewhere in me though I don't show it. With that I mustered up my will power and actually went too far. I became an anorexic. I would refuse to eat breakfast and lunch and only going for dinner which consisted of half a bowl of whatever was cooked. I lost 13kg in 3 months. Not that healthy, I know. I was constantly sick with my thyroid glands swollen. I thought I was gonna die. Like all anorexic sufferers, I could not see how skinny I had become, though all my family members were getting worried. I would suffer dizzy spells and a constant hunger though I would force myself not to eat.

Imagined what would have happened to me if I went on with it. Not so attractive! I'm happy that my boobs are still there though...

Coming to Australia has drastically changed my life. I was accepted for who I am and with that I let loose of all dieting restrictions I had for myself. In a way, it was bad. I gained 17kg within my 2 and a half years stay. Nevertheless, for once I was happy. I could eat to my heart's content, making up what was lost within my teenage years, without counting calories and how to lose it. It was a glorious 2 years of liberation.

True to Fred's words though, I may have overdone it. High from eating what I want to eat without thinking of the consequences, I now stand overweight. How to lose it now is a problem. I hate exercise, which is a main cause of my problem, only relying on dieting. It has already been 4 years since my last eating disorder and I think it is now returning. Mother is not here to observe my eating habits and I have cut down the portion of food. This way I can still enjoy the things I love best.

As a caution Fred, think wisely before you sputter words out eventhough I know you mean no harm. It's just been depressing lately seeing all these skinny girls strutting around when I'm not one. I am who I am. Thin or fat. Don't you think I want to be skinny like all other Asian girls? Even when I was at my skinniest, I still looked big.

Me and my anorexic days. I might not look skinny there but I was sick.

In the end, I just simply don't know anymore. People tell me that I should love who I am now but they judge me from my looks. And with this I'm sinking deeper and deeper into my hole and my self confidence is slowly going away as I hide behind a mask of make-up fanstasy realm. I just want someone to know me and love me for who I am, inside and out. But until then, I need to regain my confidence in myself. It's totally at it's lowest. Lower than when I was 13. And to make things worse, I popped myself on a scale. Now, that's depressing.

Mesha --> Bored = SHOPPING

"Hmm...That's what I've been looking for all along..."


Thursday = No classes for Mesha. So I booked and made a reservation for 3:30pm to get my hair washed, trimmed and blown dry. $60 AUD..cheaper than the one I went to in QLD. One thing I miss about Malaysian salons is that when you say WASH and BLOW DRY..they actually give you about a 15 minutes worth of a head massage. Here...they wash your hair ( like they don't even scrub your scalp) for about 3 mins and then a rinse. That's it. Finito.

You are probably wondering how much they cost. Well, for such a small job it's around $60 AUD. This is just a standard. Queensland--> $75AUD for a style cut only. Not even a wash..

I arrived in the city around 2:15pm so I had an hour to kill. As a girl, I do what we are meant to do best - SHOP! I walked around and headed to the nearest Valley Girl. They have very stylish outfits for a reasonable price. I'm not those kinda girl which splurges huge amount of money on branded clothes. I would if I find them reasonable. Value for money..The most important thing is quality. You may buy somethings cheap but if their quality sucks (like shrinking when you was it) may as well invest in something good and last for a while.

The Heat!! OMG I hate it..Hate it with a passion! When I was in Katoomba and it was cold, my pimples vanished. Heat= pimples for me. Oh dear! It's Autumn but still feels like Summer. Summer, summer Go Away! Be Gone!

So what did I find at Valley Girl? Well, I'm into the Gothic style though I don't have any clothes as of so. A cardigan would be good for the near future cold weather..so I splurged. Hey it's alright once in a while no? Ok OK! I admit it. I have been shopping whenever I go to the city. This is my confession!

Here's what I bought since:

Books for College..oo Wait..The Daily Miracle? I need that!

Make-up Products I bought at Myers..Biotherm..lol I got a mini sample! How Cute!

My Pink Corset Top! I <3>

A cardigan I got..

Perth Oh Perth...

Update: Finally changed units. Initially chose Media, Communication & Information (MCI), Professional Writing and Presentation (PWP), and Journalism (JRN). Dropped MCI and took up Film & Television. Wonder what lies in store for me?

You may think I might have been busy with all these new things happening around me. Right? Well sorry to disappoint you but you're WRONG!!!!!!!!! Wrong I say!

Doing the 3 3 2, which means I only do 3 units per semester and 2 in the last semester, means it's a rather easy one in comparison to the 4&4 which means 4 units per semester. Aikes! My brain can't absorb that much in one. I need a slow and steady pace for me to learn. Sometimes I think I resemble a tortoise. But slow and steady wins the race no?

So with 3 units meaning that I have only 3 days worth of classes I was overjoyed! Initially that is...

Until I saw the assignments that we have...My heart stopped pouding. It looks so hard! I hope my poor lil brain can function accordingly. MCI was ok though it reminded me of those TOK essays I had to do in high school. It challenges the way we think and perceive the things surrounding us. Hmm..it's almost as complicated as philosophy to me then.

PWP was alright, just teaching us the skills of interviewing and writing as of the title (like DUH).

We watched half of Lost in Translation to see how communication is so important and barriers such as language and accents can confuse people. Our audiences also play a part as to how we are to attract them..etc..etc..etc..

Friday - Journalism..I hope it's as interesting as I expect it to be. Then Film and Television..hmm future Ten News reporter? lol naw..I think I shall stick to flying..I'm not that brave to be infront of a camera in which millions would watch on TV.

Anyways, back to Perth. Perth is a city, a city which now holds the reputation of boring me and my room mate. This is just Perth down town itself though..

Kate --> Room mate

Perth or Europe? Make up your mind!!!!!!!!!!!