It's so funny how life changes so fast. How things turn either fantastically or horribly the next second or day? I know what I said is the "I-know-you-don't-have-to-tell-me-common-sense-thing" but just let me have my moments of reflection.
What about hope? Hope is what drives me, you, all of us. So does faith. Faith in what you're doing so you can continue having hope. I thought I had hope. Apparently I was wrong. When I sunk to a point where my life or existence didn't matter to me anymore, you where there. For a while, I thought that 'Hey, maybe it's not so bad. Having someone to care, love and look after you'. I thought that I could let my guard down and get to be pampered. Some thing I've been longing for. However, what you might not understand can turn someone's hope in to dust.
Sure, I may be childish, irresponsible, a-bit-clingy, attention wanting. After all, I am still a kid. Technically still 18.
I crave to be loved. To be loved as I have loved. Whether one sees it, well.. it's up to them hey? It's also funny how people can complain about their past and not having receive love from the person they love and cherish. And when there's someone to love you unconditionally, you can't see it. You just don't love them nor appreciate it. You take them for granted.
On the other hand, no matter how you mistreat us, we'll still be there. Waiting for every chance to get closer to you. To have you near, hoping to hold you close although it pains us to know that may never come. To hear your woes, your anger, your silent screams, your frustrations. We love you unconditionally, for who you are and your flaws. People may tell us to leave you. To find someone better cause we deserve someone better. But it's so hard to let go. Having to kill the one thing that motivates us to breathe. You may think it's a childish, immature thing to say but for some, it's the only thing that keeps us moving. Having lost that, is like walking around in the dark, stripped senseless of direction, emotion and motivation.
Love. You cannot. I repeat. Cannot love someone partially. It's either you do or you don't. Despite the fact that the person may drive you up the wall occasionally. After awhile you look past these things and see the inner beauty. Look on the good side. We are all imperfect but somewhere inside there's something good in all of us. Love is when you can look past these flaws and love them for who they are.
Love. You care about the person unconditionally. Whether they are near or far. You want to spend time with them. Cuddle with them. Do things together. Even simple things like spending a night watching a movie at home or out for a walk. You try. Cause for all these effort, in the end you know it's worth it, having the person you love beside you and with you. That's the reason why some complain their partner is clingy or too attached. We want to spend time with you, every minute, every day, every second. Sure we all need personal spaces, so make time to go out with your friends. We all do. Hell, even I would complain if I couldn't see my friends.
Love. Is a learning process. It may be my first but if you love a person. Teach them. Grow with them. That is what makes you stronger. Makes us stronger if we learn. If you don't teach us, how will we ever learn? Go through the pain one after another and learn it the hard way? If you can, at least show us the way so our future prospects of relationship does not have to be as painful as this.
Love. Do not lie about it. Do not say it due to stress/peer pressure/guilt/etc. You're doing harm for both yourself and the other. If it's not love, still do not lie about wanting to be together and thinking of a future. It gives us hope. Do it out of your own initiation. Cause you want to. You do not know how much it hurts when on the other side, we realise that it was all just a lie. It hurts even more when we're in love with you. It's as bad as someone telling someone close to you has just died in an accident. Or a knife being stabbed in your heart. Yes. You can literally feel the pain and loss and hurt from the lies when we all thought it was the truth.
And even what we went through hurts like hell and thought that we would hate you. No. Being in love with you takes away all the negativity. All the lies. And even if you were to continue telling the lie of loving us. We would accept it readily. That is how much love I'm talking about. Tell us all the lies as long as you'll be here beside us.
Lovers. You're suppose to be the best friend and something more to us. Where we have no secrets to hide. No past hidden from each other. Trust. And even it is something bad, look forward to the future together. Something that you don't see eye-to-eye with? Discuss calmly, and make the best compromise together and also keeping in mind what your partner has in mind too. No burden is too heavy to bear. And we all have our pet peeves. Don't keep it in til the day comes when you explode and we have no clue what is going on. Love also comes with patience. We all forget once in a while what you don't like or like. All I can say that the key to a healthy relationship is compromising. Alot. And also spending time together whenever you can. Take a date, somewhere romantic once in a while. Money SHOULD NOT be a problem. If you save up 2-dollars a day, by the end of the month there should be enough for even a table somewhere for two. Just don't keep thinking expensive stuff. We'd be even be happy if you could take us out for dinner or a movie once a month. Something special.
Nothing is too much or little when you're in a relationship. It is not an obligation to do somethings. We do it cause we know it makes you happy. So we do it cause we want to make you happy.
Falling out of love. Moving on. Finding someone new. Or time heals. I personally don't believe either one of these is fully true. Somehow, somewhere deep inside. That special person will always remain. And somehow, you'll still love them for the happy memories you once had together. Getting over someone really quickly is just a sign of lust, like or a bit of attraction. Not love. I believe that when you love someone. They'll always be a part of you. The memories are always there.
I don't know how much this will apply to everyone but this is how I feel. I'm still in love despite all the lies and having my heart bled. Only here trying to change myself [although people say never try to change someone and people can't change overnight] so that you'll love me once again. If not now, hopefully in the future. I need hope to carry on for the faith I once had is gone.
