25th November 2007

Awoken by Mum whilst she burst into my room screaming, “Why aren’t you up yet? You know you’re suppose to go to the meeting today and still sleeping in? Tsk tsk..” I dreamily looked up to her and in response I said that I did set my alarm on my mobile phone. The phone has given me troubles before and it was annoying. Thankfully this only happened once during my school days. I was late as usual and getting ready quickly in the morning wasn’t what I expected, especially on a Sunday.

The Circuit Overseer (CO) had a special speech and therefore the attendance at the Kingdom Hall was higher than usual. I ashamedly thought about Maxime and him leaving throughout the meeting and missing his French- Asian jokes and how I was going to be so late. Looking back now, it is a shameful habit of being selfish.

The meeting was also a bit longer than usual and me being a person that likes to be on time was fretting about being late to Max’s farewell gathering. I (once again, ashamedly) rushed mum to leave and head home. Had a quick change into shorts and grabbed towel and sunscreen. Max, Sarah, Meisha, Michael and Angie were already there and they were snacking away on hot chips. Nothing really happened in Mooloolaba Beach. To me it was just an ordinary day with people flocking there to tan as it was a rather sunny day. Angie and Meisha left early and we were then joined by Sam and Janelle. I realized that it wasn’t the group that I hung out anymore and pondered on leaving. It’s frustrating as it is hard to describe how I feel. Have you ever felt that you’re in a group that you don’t belong in? No matter how much you try you just don’t fit? That’s how I felt. Leaving was a coward’s choice but I was in no mood to entertain myself in a group. I’d rather entertain myself alone. So there. I said my farewell to Maxime.

Then, there I was enjoying the lonely walk to Loo With The View. It’s amazing how much more you observe when you’re alone. I decided to pamper myself and went to the movies. Ben reminded me of Lauren – she’s a strong believer in the Truth and she doesn’t watch anything affiliated with supernatural themes or “demonic” movies. Surprisingly for a Non-Witness, Ben believes in the same thing. It really opened my eyes towards what was really going on the in the world. Not all are bad –just misguided. I admired their persistence.

Left to Right: Michael, Angela and Maxime

I was going through my own demons- I felt so frustrated of being lonely, having no friends here. One may say that I’m ungrateful but no I am with my situation, just that I have no one to really share time with.

It is so hard resisting the movies that I grew up with – horror movies. Instead, following Ben’s and Lauren’s example, I chose a movie non-affiliated with supernatural movie, Lost In The Wild. It turned out to be a story about a young man trying to find happiness in the wild rather than the materialistic dreams of the modern world. It is based on a true story which really amazes me. The moral of the story was “Happiness can only be found when shared”.

I always thought that I could make it alone –without any friends. With just that sentence it made me realize that I do need people or just someone to rely on and share problems with.