Bitch in Me

Another entry on ranting. Boy, I do love to rant don't I? It's probably the fact that I can't rant out loud in person that I have to rant it out here. Why not?

I've been feeling really tired lately, and yesterday I actually managed to sleep for 16 hours. Unbelievable.

Went out clubbing yesterday at Metro City with Vern Tee. I don't know why, but clubbing doesn't feel the same for me anymore. Not that I have been out clubbing for long. It's just that maybe I don't really enjoy dancing. And with recent tummy upsets, I can't hold drinks in my stomach long either. They normally end up in the toilet bowl 10 minutes after I've drank them. Such a waste of alcohol.

And then today. Sunday. I hate Sundays. It's like the end of the weekend and you just know you have to wake up and go to work tomorrow. Damn, I do miss 2008, where I didn't need to work and had no worries about financial issues at all. I like my job, but when you have to put on a fake smile to greet customers, that's so wrong. Customer service. Mm.. So hard to put on a fake smile when you're like an empty bowl of expressions.

"You need more friends". Humph. Fuck to those who even think about these kind of responses. You don't know. Friends are so temporary and you don't even know who are "friends" or should I say acquintances? People I know? Urgh what gets me frustrated is that some only give oral advice. I'm like "TAKE IT ALL BACK". I don't need oral advice. Seriously. Call me an ungrateful bitch.

So what? Sue me.

Do you think I'm stupid or something that I have not thought about the alternatives. All you can do is sit there and repeat what I've already thought of. Now that's just plain fucking annoying.

Those who have offered to fork out money, I thank you now. Waleed, Tony and another friend. I thank you for your sincerity and trust. I have to thank Tony especially since I only knew him for a few months and through Lin Hu. The money is all sorted out now so it's fine.

Come to think of it. I think I shall label most people I know as acquintances. That is a more suitable term for those that I know.

What else.. gee. So much to rant and hence this weird order. I just type what ever I'm thinking right now.

Oh. I nearly forgot.

Valentine's Day.

I should not be thinking about this now, but sooner or later, when that day approaches, it's going to hit me. So why not rant about it now?

It's a festival to mock singles. Seriously. You stare as couples go by and walk by hand-in-hand.

Humph.

Girls get showered with the boyfriend's attention and vice-versa and all the lovey-dovey crap they have on display. You argue - what about family?

Ahem. My mother is a thousands of miles away and I'm here alone?

GAHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. This lonely part of me is killing me. Eating me up from the inside. All people can say is MAKE MORE FRIENDS. WELL HOW ABOUT I TELL YOU NOW THAT NOT ALOT OF "FRIENDS" ARE WILLING TO SACRIFICE THEIR TIME TO SPEND IT WITH ME WHEN THEY HAVE EITHER WORK, THEIR SPOUSE OR OTHER FRIENDS TO KEEP THEM OCCUPIED.

WTF lah. Friends. How long can they keep you company when they have problems of their own or other friends. They can't be with you 24/7.

I think I'm going nuts here. My mental health has deteriorated from the recent crisis and on top of this, I have no one PHYSICALLY to turn to.

One can only last that long.