Curse thy Emotions

I do not know why.

I do not know whether it's linked to my monthly process of producing hormones and losing blood that turns me into an emotional wreck.

I just feel like eventhough I have family and recently, a Mr. BF of my own, I can't help but feel so alone. Why is it I feel like I have no support when I face problems. Sometimes, although I'm trying to be independent, some support will be nice. I feel like if I were to tell anyone anything at anytime, the problems in which I face will be scrutinized and criticized to the max.

So now, if I were to tell anyone anything, I have to think twice. I guess I now understand what my ex told me off for - for not being supporting enough and being mean although I do it for fun. I now see it when people around me do that, although the majority of the time, I take it in with good humour and take it as self-constructive criticism.

I never ever said my self-confidence is high. The person you see, is just someone who's trying to mimic the person she is trying to be. Fear of rejection. I actually enjoy having someone to reassure me that I am good enough, but that would be vain. It always seem to me, that what I do, I have to asked to be praised. Am I not good enough?

I got told off once for putting effort in making someone happy. "You always try but never succeed, what's the point?". So much for appreciation.

I guess in the end, I just want someone to show me some support and most importantly boost up my morale. I can't take another hit this year. There's already too much shit going on.