Please, Please Forgive Me, But I Won't Be Home Again

What did I say eh? Plan B does come in handy. Someone's been praying hard that I won't be going to UK. Whoever did that..I'm going to personally kill you! Oh..What's Plan B?

1. Stay in Australia and get into University of Queensland.
2. Hopefully find a way to get an overseas exchange program.

I cannot cry. It's not that I don't want to. I just can't. I try thinking of how it was all my fault and how I have ruined a golden opportunity. But I just can't cry. No tears. Just pain and sorrow. Sometimes, thoughts of just perishing floats in, but no...I'm too cowardly.

I try to understand, but life brings me one step back to hell. I yearn to succeed, yet lack the strength and perserverance. God - Help me..