"I could not see his face but yet I lingered in his presence and I knew he and I were meant to be. It was awkward but pleasant until the day of union came."
Lately, I don't know why, but I have been getting realistic dreams. These dreams revolve around the theme of marriage and union. You may think that dreams of the big day should be pleasant and end like a fairy-tale story. That's what I thought.
It started with a dream that had couples sitting in seats and I was the only one without a partner and I was sitting next to Mother and Andrew. The dream then turned into a tv reality game show where I had to assemble a bumper car. The dream then fast forwarded and I ended up getting off the stage and back sitting on the couples' seat and only to realise that I had a mysterious person sitting next to me and had his hands wrapped around my waist. I could not see his face and the cold feeling of horror rose up to me as I did not want to be next to this person, whatever it is.
I woke up after that and thought it was one of the few sloppy dreams I had. The theme of marrying a mysterious person continued however. The following day, the dream was set in a grand ballroom where I was in a white summer dress, which I personally thought it was pretty, and I was dancing yet again with a mysterious partner. All I could see was a body in a tuxedo. I kept missing to see the face. Moving on, the dance floor slowly filled with tables and the atmosphere of the ballroom slowly turned grand with soft music and people filled the room. Everyone greeted me as though I was someone of importance. That was until I realised that my "white" summer dress was my wedding dress!
Once again, the sick feeling of commitment to a man that I did not know was nauseating. In the dream I was walking onto the stage where you had to sign the marital certificate. I remember looking at my mother and asking her whether it was the right thing to do and she nodded stating that I would be happier if I married that guy. My head frantically turned to search the room for my "groom" but he doesn't seem to be present in the room. I remember signing the paper but half way through..I woke up.
I told Mother of my nightly dreams and she said that I must be desperate to get married. I sighed and continued eating dinner. Thinking that it would not reoccur again as a coincidence, it did. This time it was a very obvious as it was set in a churh or chapel of some sort. And this time I was in a very grand, but old fashioned wedding dress. Remember back in the days when they had these ridiculously big poofy sleeves and big skirts supported by layers of can-cans? Well that was what I wore in the dream. Eww..I know.
However, in the dream, I wasn't too concerned with what I was wearing but what I was doing in it. A church and the wedding song? You've got to be joking. This time, I walked down the aisle with Mother and I could actually see the face of my "groom". Again, the dream fast forward the "I do's" and we returned to our seats. Reluctant to sit next to my "husband", I followed Mother and sat next to her, which was rows away from where I was suppose to sit in the front. An argument broke between Mother and I.
"Why do I have to marry him Mother?"
"Cause it's beneficial for our family. It was an arrangement.."
"Yeah, but all he wanted was our family business.."
Scooping up info from this short conversation, it led me to believe that I did not marry out of love but for business sake? And this guy wanted to marry me to get to the business our family owned. What an ass! Thankfully this was just a dream as also the guy I married was a middle age man that resembled this actor:
The one infront of course..
Then these dreams stopped all together. Why? Maybe because I tried dreaming of them to see the ending of these ill-fated unions. A few weeks passed until yesterday, when I sunk into a deep sleep where once again I was to be married. This time I was at my recent age - 17! A bit young don't you think?
Unlike other dreams, I did not get the sick feeling that I normally get but I actually anticipated in getting married which is unusually odd. I remember being alone with my future groom and I was trying out the wedding ring. Yet again the issue rises with me not being able to see his features. I only saw the eyes for a second and then I couldn't see as he turned away.
As I got to the wedding, I could see that it was going to be a huge one! Relatives from his side I suppose. But what was weird was that all his "relatives" were wearing Indian or Middle-Eastern clothing. The bride and groom were then called to the middle of the grand hall (when I say grand this time I mean HUGE! The interior was set with pure white marble and only dimly lit by candles which set off the romantic atmosphere). As we were called to give our vows, I pulled out only because at the last moment I realised that my groom-to-be was a Muslim and I had to convert. I have no grudge against Muslims but having to convert to get married? That's ridiculous. You just can't change someone's faith whilst getting married. If that's the case, may as well I say - "Hey! Why don't you be a Christian?"
Back to my ridiculous story, I pulled out but as a "punishment"(Don't ask me why ok? My dreams are slightly weird at times.), I could not leave the country I was in, assuming that I'm still in Australia as the sheikh said that I could not visit my home country, Europe or Africa. Freaking weirdo!
As my wedding party broke up, I went to look for friends for comfort (In the dream I took it for real and was rather upset about the whole situation as I thought I would be married) but no one seems to bother with me as if I did no exist. Friends I knew took the situation lightly or walked away. Is that a sign? I mean, for some of my friends to walk away when I'm in need? Shit friends I got then!
So that's that for the time being. I hope there's no more of these ill-fated marriages cause I hope that's not what my real wedding will end up to be. Till then, I hope to keep dreaming of marrying (which will never come true as he's married and lives on the other end of the world and is a celebrity..) Mr. Valo..heheheh
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