"Oh, How I wish I could be free and fly away from this world, my dear.."
Life alone is like breathing for the first time. You need to be slapped by the doctor to ensure that you cry and take in air. Once you breathe, it is then an automatic habit of yours. Well, I think life alone is similar in a way in which you need some hard, sharp guidance to make sure you’re on the right path. Then things fall into place from there, as your daily activities become a routine – a habit.
Everything your parents did for you when you young you take for granted. I know I did. Little things like having freshly laundered clothes neatly stacked on your bed to be put away. Or maybe the security that you’ll be at a place without being late, cause your parents would send you to the venue instead of catching the bus with a probability of missing it. I miss it. I know I do. Or going on family holidays which meant you didn’t need to worry about the costs or accommodation – the parents already planned it all, and all you needed to do was to pack your own luggage. Well, that is if you’re old enough to pack it yourself. Any younger and your parents would be the one responsible for the packing. Boy, I miss that!
The bright side of being independent is that you can choose to do what you plan to do without the mother’s hawk eye peering over your shoulders at what you do. You can not eat your veggies, shop ‘til you drop, leave your room messy, etc. You’re basically responsible for your actions. “With great power comes great responsibility,” a quote taken from Spiderman. How true are these words! With such freedom, it comes with a price. You tend to sway and do the wrong things. For me, it’s a matter of keeping my money in my wallet and not spend it all.
Throughout ages, mankind has always been a supporter of freedom that has lead to today’s society where women can work, slaves are liberated, and etc. However, we’re still stuck within a system that has not liberated us completely. Our appearance binds us to the fashion of today’s world. We are not free to be who we are, whether or not we like it. Why should we hide behind a mask and be something we’re not? Is it really the way to true happiness?
Another example is like when I had my tongue pierced, my mother threw a fit. Why? A simple reason - guarding the family’s name. Whether you agree to my words or not, subconsciously, you will perceive people with body piercing as punks, as the culture grew from there even though body piercing history dated back thousands of years ago. So where’s the freedom in doing what we want? I know I can’t. I want to pierce my nose but that would mean a severed relationship between mum and I. Asians are by far the worst at criticizing other people. Gossips spread even with small news within a community.
So tell me now, what is freedom?
Our society is based on rules to keep things in order. Some rules are sensible and others aren’t but who are we to say that we have to follow it? At this moment, I don’t know what life is about anymore. Money? Happiness? Success? Love? Some times I think it’s overrated.
I know I know.. “Be grateful for what you have..” as mother always says. It’s true I’m grateful to have this great chance to study abroad but what is it when you’re alone and actually hold no freedom? I keep saying that I’ll be fine on my own without anyone including friends. Turned out all I want now is company. A boyfriend, perhaps, to share, learn, laugh and travel with. Until then, I sit here waiting as a self-pitying brat who knows too well that she has to study hard.
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