A Full Day

Second time helping Ben again. It may seem odd but yes I do like helping people. There are times when I don't like helping people but then you realise in life that you have to give back to society. This is what I'm doing now, helping others. It's much easier though when everything is finished, meaning school's over. It is also strange when you've spent 12 years of your life in school, slaving away to homework. My 2 years in Mountain Creek has certainly changed my life - anti social...

He picked me up at 12pm and we headed to the Woolies in Chancellor Park. Ran in and got some fruit - Plums and White Peaches. Being a healthy and fit person, we had healthy snacks too..Roasted Nuts! It contained chick pea, almond and horsenut. The queue for the cashier was HUGE!! Ben seemed rushed and handed me $30 to pay for the snacks whilst he ran over to Subway for the sandwiches. I personally started disliking Subway cause Mum and I bought so much Subway when we first got here. It is nice once in a while.

When we arrived at the gym, we had some moving around and setting up to do. I won't go into details but having seen an adult work makes me realise that I do actually miss school. At 3pm, his family and friends arrived. It was funny to see Ben nervous and it is SO easy to spot him thinking away. He's like me. He goes all silent and his eyes would move around.

I was the photographer for the day (embarassingly..I wonder what he thought of my other photos of the Kick-boxing? Actually..no hold that thought. I don't want to know what he thought of those photos!!) The lighting in the room had suffice light and the photos turned out better. Phew..I had a sigh of relief. Ben had games installed for his family and friends and it was nice to observe his enthusiasm for training others and making it fun so that people would get encouraged to work out.

After all of that, food was being served and certificates of appreciation was handed out. Ben's mother seemed really nice and she'd smile all the time. Lol. She was very "friendly" too. I don't mean it in a bad way but she gave me her home phone number and also her personal mobile phone number, even though I barely knew her. Ben's dad looked fiercer and I was pretty scared of him as he had the typically Chinese look. After that, I helped clear things out and back to my place. Ben couldn't thank me enough but it feels as if I owed it to him for the bad photos I took. But it is also nice to see someone to have a grin on their face from appreciation. We planned to do something later and maybe watch a movie.

Mum called me and asked me whether I wanted to go for dinner. I hesitated a bit as wanted to watch a movie with Ben. Fortunately, I had to shower and mum couldn't wait and left as their booking was for 7pm. I was home alone so I decided to ring Ben and say that I was free in the evening.

We decided to watch The Heartbreak Kid with Ben Stiller in it. It was good though I did not expect to see so much sex scences in it. I am rather open, but it did feel weird with a male friend next to you. It reminds me of a saying, "Love makes us blind but marriage is the eye opener."

When I think about life, it's sad. I like to spend it with someone but I have always been alone. I keep complaining and I know that I do that alot but hey! It's a blog isn't it? Guess that's where all my frustration and anger goes.

On the journey home from the plaza, we kept teasing each other about what each other was thinking. I could not tell him the real truth though. I had feelings for him but I could not let it out. It's like unvented anger. You want to unleashed but you can't in fear of repulsing them. I'm hopeless and I know it.