Mesha Chow

This Time, It is Good-bye

2011-01-12T12:06:00.002+08:00

I realised that I could never write a journal but here I am four years later, looking back on this blog. There are so many bad times, and admittedly, good ones as well.

But.

I really want to start a new chapter in life. I am going to be 21 this year. It is time to let go of the past and try to find my own happiness rather than relying on others.

It is sad that I won't be posting on this blog anymore but I will create a new one. A fresh blog without any history. A clean slate.

I guess I will keep this blog, just as a reminder one day when I'm older.

Goodbye, old blog. I will surely miss you but it is time to let go of my ghosts.

Has It Come To This? Again?

2010-12-15T18:34:00.002+08:00

How frustrating can it get? I've been screwed over 3 times. Dumped all 3 times.

Well, almost 3 times.

It really makes me wonder though, is there seriously something that wrong with me? Is there something coursing through my veins, my very own DNA, that puts people off being in a relationship with me? Am I really that bad?

Hell.

I seriously wonder what I have left, of a heart.

You told me you love me but you don't ever seem to show it. Well, you do in a way. You care but the way you were in love with me is gone.

I will never forget the times where you loved to hold my hand when we were out. Neither will I forget the times where you always wanted me by your side and never wanted me to leave, even for a moment. Or the times when you told me you loved me. Wait, not only that. You wanted me, you needed me in your life. I was, for a moment in time, the most important person in your life, other than your parents.

I was truly happy. But I was such an idiot to have not recognised it. I'm sorry.

Now, I just long deep down inside for you to be the person you once were when you wrote me a letter, which was a reminder of your love for me.

Where did the love go, my love?
Where did it go?

And what has it made me now?
I'm suffering despite taking anti-depressants. It's suppressing my feelings but no, it is not enough. I wanted something to make me feel happy, even for a moment, where nothing mattered at all.

So, I have resorted to drinking myself to sleep at nights. It was either that or have swollen eyes from crying too much.

A month's break is a long time. Hell, 2 weeks passed by so goddamn slowly. Another 2 weeks to go. I wonder how I'll cope?

I just wanted to say, that I take it all back. I need you now.

And I still love you very much.

I pray to God, that the end of this month, everything will be over and I'll be back in your arms again.

I'm quite an optimist for a pessimist, aren't I?

Somebody

2010-07-20T21:26:00.002+08:00

Everyone wants to be somebody.

Even me.

Everyone has a talent.

What is mine?

I have no idea.

Testicle-whacking?

Butt-rapist wannabe?

Still finding it.

Hypocrites Pt. 2

2010-07-03T13:09:00.002+08:00

It's funny how people tend to criticize other people of their faults when they themselves have faults of their own and yet they do not want to admit or realize it themselves.

How can a man call another man a hypocrite when he himself is a hypocrite? Thus a paradox is born.

The paradox born of hypocrisy is a viscous cycle.

It never ends as every man is a hypocrite - to himself and everyone around him.

Unless a man who is born perfect, not subjected to hypocrisy, only has the right to point out the flaws of others.

How can you tell someone off and keep telling them off when your life is falling to pieces and yet, still shameless enough to point the finger at others?

How can you blame the failure of your life on others and use them as a scapegoat to vent out the years of dissatisfaction and anger created through your life of misery?

Fine. I may be a hypocrite but seriously, who hasn't been a hypocrite at some point in their life? It is a blatant lie if a man says he is not a hypocrite.

You say that you are learning from us to be more selfish and be more hypocritical towards your actions but I find that funny. For each time you tell me off for doing something now, and you're doing it yourself, you are a hypocrite.

I never had to courage to say this to your face, but maybe someday you will wake up and realise that people have faults and so do you. However, you should not blame others and think that everything you do is 'oh-so-perfect' and is "logical" when really, it isn't. Maybe that is why, most of your marriages have failed and you still can't find the reason why? Perphaps the reason lies within you.

I would be a bad daughter to say that to you. I will never say it to you to your face. But as an observer, that is what I have perceived.

They say respect is earned and takes a lifetime to build and only take seconds to destroy.

I lack respect, but I have come to a point where, I don't think I respect anyone anymore. I do what I am told to save my own hide on my bottom. I endure cause it is out of my own benefit. I never wanted to stand down, but fortunately for you, you own the trump cards and I'm left with a leash that chokes me.

People say I'm an ungrateful person, but dealing with the mental abuse is not worth the hassle to be grateful.

So many times, I wanted to leave. Just leave it all behind but yet I'm just another hypocrite who can't live up to the things I want to do or say. Perphaps I am a failure.

You want to give up for the "amount of shit" we're giving you. But how long have you spent trying to reconcile. You give up at the slightest amount. This statement makes me a hypocrite too, but I have endured through yours.

I hope one day you'll understand and wake up.

Not everything you do is right.

Life in the City of Neophobia

2010-06-17T19:07:00.002+08:00

Neophobia: the fear or dislike of new things; fear of change.

As stated above, neophobia is simply the fear of change. The fear of new things. Well, that basically summarizes the City of Perth, folks. Australia as a whole, with the exception of metropolitan areas such as Melbourne and Sydney, is already backward in itself. The only thing I can give them credit for, is that they are striving for a healthier country to live in by 2020. The purpose of this post, is not only to rant, but also stand as a notice for me and for anyone who really thinks the grass is greener on the other side; focusing on the pros and cons of living here in Australia.

To start off selfishly, I shall rant as I always do on this blog considering it has been a reoccuring theme...

I perceive Perth to be a place for old people or people who simply want to do nothing with change. A note to Neophobics, Perth or other small towns in Australia is a perfect place for you to hide and shelter away as other developing countries are finding their way to change rapidly.

I do not know whether it is because of my background, being raised in a metropolitan area of Kuala Lumpur. Reminiscing to when I was a high school student, it was already quite obvious that it was in our culture to have, possess or own the latest technology [especially mobile phones]. Here, in Australia, I feel that the only possible "culture" that Australians possess are [1] drinking [2]abusing alcohol [3] clubbing, and [4] getting laid.

I desire change. I have come to a point where I feel that my life lacks something important. I also personally feel that Neophobia city has sucked the life out of me. There is simply n-o-t-h-i-n-g to do in this town. Go out after 5PM, everything is fucking shut [with the exception of Thursday nights for local shopping centres and Friday nights in the city; both only open 'til 9PM].

For a while, I thought not all hope was lost when some West Australians do feel the need or want to extend trading hours. The reason why it does not work? Goddamn Neophobians! [not a real word I think, but I shall call residents of Perth with a few exceptions to some, Neophobians]. They complain about working late and spending not enough time with their family, blah blah blah. AND YOU FUCKING WONDER WHY THIS PLACE IS SO FAR BEHIND???? You'd think that a city that has quite a large population of Asians would teach these Caucasians a few things but no, they are just as stubborn and lazy as the Malays back home. Basically, the fairer version.

Just let me say that if Asians [or not to be so "racist", other people in other countries] can do it, SO CAN YOU!

But, no....

It's not that you can't, you just don't fucking want to.

Hey, if Australians don't want to work, I think we have a fair amount of Asians that would happily work for you for the extra money!

I could type all day long with the things I have to say, but I guess I'll just put it into dot points.
I'll start off with CONS:

Lack of culture despite "multiculturalism"
Acknowledges "multiculturalism" but there is alot of racism going on in Neophobialand
High standard of living; things are fucking expensive.
Average people strive to afford a house in the current housing market
Banks rip the shit out of their customers [anyone heard of interest on top of an interest? And also paying to withdraw your own money out?]
Majority Gen Y = lazy. [Hey, I'm a Gen Y but at least I acknowledge it. Give me some credit!]
Rather high crime rates [someone once told me that Perth has the highest crime rate per ratio.. or something like that]
Short trading hours
Hypocritical governing system & also very confusing
Really, really, really dislikes change and rejects change
Too patriotic [some of them don't even want to leave the country]
Gets too hot in Summer
Likes beer but don't sell cheap beer...
Promotes healthy lifestyle but foods like wraps and salads prices are off the roof and junk food sold at a cheap price. Sheer stupidity?
Lack of discipline in children and in schools.
Wayyyy too far laid-back
Spanking of children is illegal

Pros:

Cleaner amenities
No stray animals [I'm talking about domestic animals aka pets]
You see white people?
Nice beaches [large nature reserves, coasts, etc.]
Healthier Australa vision by 2020
More music festivals and concerts
Has 4 seasons
Some friendly Australians do exist
When you're horny but have no one to fuck, all you need to do is to find some guy in a club?
Sluts ahoy!
Cute koalas

Putting it down in dot points, I think I really need to get out of this country in the future. I sincerely think that if I were to stay in this country, I would have to move to the Eastern states and live somewhere near the metropolitan area.

And all I can say is that I am seeking something new, exciting, exhilarating... Just something that will just take my breath away.

For now, back to suffocating...

2010-06-11T20:56:00.001+08:00

The Sweetest Thing I've Ever Heard & Moments of Self-Reflection.

2010-03-17T12:00:00.003+08:00

Wow. It has been that long since my last post, I don't even know how the blogsphere feels like anymore. It is now my third year in university and also my second last semester. In a way I feel sad that it is my final year but also glad that the grieving process of intense studying is going to be over soon [not that I study hard anyways].

My electives this year is first year studies of Web Communications 101. Who knew I'm such a geek? I should probably say most Asians are but it is funny that Asians are ranked 4th in the world as Internet users. No doubt, North America pwns it in first place, then Australia?! Sure they may use the Internet, but I highly doubt the fact that these Aussies know much about using blogs or other services provided by the net!

I am giving the assumption that they use the Internet solely for the purpose of Facebook, MySpace and perphaps, porn. The only one thing I can give credit to Australia is that it has helped me with who I am and how I use the Internet. When I first came to Australia in 2005, I had no clue what a USB stick is. I was 14 going on 15 and my god it is embarrassing when I think back. Assignments in high school were handed in hard copy and most of it was done on Microsoft Word. It was also the year where I had to get a laptop to do my work. Back in Malaysia, every homework was hand-written. Computers in high-school were used for educational games and not even for printing.

Back then, I also used the Internet for Googling pics of Amy Lee and the only other purpose of the computer was to play the Sims. Over the years in high school, I realised how far behind I was in technology and vowed that I will be as efficient as possible with the computer and also the Internet.

Oh, I forgot to mention that Australia is known for the usage of dating websites. After two failures of a relationship, one which was met on the net, I decided to give it a go to see how many losers are out here in Australia. Unfortunately, I forgot that signing up, I became a loser myself. I changed that theory as I have met some nice people and also some perverted old man.

I think it was meant to be. For all the old men that added me on that site, I added a man that was way off the preferred age group. I don't know why I added him, perphaps it was his profile details that allured me and I thought that, "Hey, I could just be friends with him".

Guess what?

He is now with me and we've almost been together for three months!

He has shown me what is like to be loved for who I am no matter how ugly I look with or without make-up and I'm starting to appreciate this relationship.

He keeps on saying to this day that he loves me. First it started off with once a day, now he says it every moment he gets. Due to past experiences, I was scared that he was just saying it just for the sake of saying it or that he feels that he has to. So I asked him, how much does he love me?

*drum rolls*

"Looking back now, I can confidently say that you are the person I love the most.. other than my parents of course," he said.

"What about your other exes?" I asked him skeptically.
"I am sure that you love your exes as much as you loved me."

"No, after my past relationships, I can look back and see the faults in the relationships and can now say that I love you,"

*skeptical look*

"You have throw tantrums and tempers and with my exes I would not put up with that. With you, I know how to put up with it and still want to be with you".

So touching!!!

Web Studies 101

2010-03-04T10:16:00.003+08:00

This is reminding me of Net Studies in CIC!

Web Presence.. HAH!

This blog has been up and running since 2007.

Finally realised that my blog has some use.

Boom. Pow.

It's 10:17AM

This unit is awesome.

Not to mention, I'm a third year uni student doing first year stuff?

Nice!

Life is a Gamble

2010-02-01T01:10:00.002+08:00

Gambling is a thing you have to do in life. Taking risks and not regretting any decisions you make. It's either you gain or you lose. It's 50/50 really. However, whatever decision you make is also based on the strategic approach you take on. Like Texas Hold'em Poker, you can either be a passive aggresive or just plain aggressive.

When time is short and valuable, I suppose it is best to plan your life ahead of you but there is really no fun in that, personally speaking. Furthermore, life cannot be really planned as unseen circumstances do arise - either for the better or for worse. Like gambling, in life, you should also learn from your mistakes and avoid repeating the mistake if the problem arises again. Improve your strategy and make it stronger. You are the player and life is the dealer. Trying to play the cards given to you right is hard but that is the way it is I suppose. Some people get better cards [luck?] and they have a higher chance of winning if they play their cards right. Play it wrong and the good cards may be wasted. Playing with bad cards may be hard but hey, in games like Big 2, you might end up beating other players with good cards if you play them right. I suppose that is how quotes like "Play your cards right" came about.

So much things to think and ponder and personal life philosophies are nice to blog about. But sometimes it gets too much. Too much as I personally can't live by them everytime. Somewhere somehow, in the end, we are all hypocrites.

Sometimes playing with the unexpected is exciting and adrenaline rushing but like most other games that you gamble with, in the long run, you lose. Same with life isn't it? No matter how much you accomplish, we all die.

Ah, life! Why are you so cruel to us?

Into the new decade..

2010-01-21T01:03:00.003+08:00

Many of can agree with me that 2009 was a fantastically horrible year. Some lost their loved ones and some, like me, had many unfortunate incidents during the course of the year.

It's finally 2010 and I was on hiatus. Why?

Cause I finally found someone who loves me for who I am.

I Remember What He Said...

2009-12-30T23:14:00.002+08:00

A friend of mine once told me that you will know when the right person is there for you. Before all this heartache, I asked him: When will I be treated the way I have treated them? Will anyone love me more than I love them? To be treated nicely and in a respectable way, unselfish and unconditionable?

"One day, you'll find the person who will love you for who you are. You'll just have to wait"

I guess with my impatient and naive behaviour, I fell straight for the two people who seemed right but never was. But oh! The joy of the thought of being in love was too strong and I gave into temptation.

The result? Disasterous..

The first one, I was young and naive but was basically blinded by love that I couldn't see that she wasn't the right one to be partnered up with but only great as friends. My stupidity resulted in the loss of friendship. The second one was infatuated with me, but never really liked me. I thought I wouldn't be that stupid to fall for someone, but even in the beginning, he had all the qualities I wanted. In the end, I found out he was a selfish man who used me to satisfy his own desires. Both, shattered my heart. I am still finding the shards to piece it all back together but with each shard, I bleed.

I know I am young. I know I have my whole life ahead of me and repeatedly I have stated once so many times, how sick I am of looking. Maybe I envy those couples who've married their sweetheart from high school. Or married their second boyfriend? Being single, in a way, is nice - having the freedom to do what you want and not worry about what other people are thinking of you. You don't have commitments. But when you come back home, it's sad to think that no one is waiting for you. No one is missing you other than family, but I suppose that is to be expected.

Being in a relationship, however, is different. It's nice, being able to care for someone and return be cared for. Being able to love someone and hopefully in return, be loved. And it is for that reason alone, I want to find someone who I can love and be loved in return. I am sick for searching. There are 6 billion people on this planet and there will definitely be more than one person that will be right for you. There is no use trying to keep looking for something better...

Anyways, back to the topic. There's a new man in my life. Fast enough as it is, I guess I finally woke up from what I was doing with Mr.Bf #2. Although being in love, I was ready to wait for him until he was ready to be commited to someone, but then at the same time, I was being used like a doormat. I didn't mind it until Mr. Bf #3 came along.

I guess I am happy that I found someone who treated me the way I have always wanted them to. But somehow inside, I have created a shield around the shattered heart. I am still afraid to let him in. Maybe it's a good thing. Takes things slow in terms of emotion. I'm afraid that he'll go away too, as they always do. It's always been like that, they like me, wants me to be in a relationship with them, I opened up my heart to them, they leave me.

I don't want him to leave. I guess when I say the words that I would be the one to run, I selfishly wanted to be the one who doesn't get hurt again. It's been enough for the year 2009.

"People's feelings change easily. All that one sees could be an illusion.
Nothing is for certain"

Lying Away From You

2009-12-04T02:18:00.003+08:00

Jealousy forms when you observe other couple's loving activities, whilst your own love sits inside the heart; not being able to show affection will slowly rot the soul.

The inability to feel neither true pain nor joy comes from being hurt so much in the past that the heart learns to shield itself from these emotions. This is what is like to be frozen. Neither sunlight nor the freezing wind can change the frozen heart. Yet it waits for the day, for love to melt it back to the way it was.

Stupidity is the man who does not listen to the wise men. Stupidity is the man who does the bidding of his heart. Stupidity is when love conquers body and soul.

Love cannot be forced, they say, but then explain to me how is it that couples in arranged marriages last so long? Longer than those marriages vowed due to the sake of love? Love is a bond that can be obtained over time. I believe so, but yet it is also my weakness, my stupidity.

Stupidity for loving a man whose heart is, perphaps, even more frozen than mine. Does he know what love is? But yet my hope remains. The hope that allows me to be here waiting for him although the mind tells me to give up. It's futile.

"There can be miracles, when you believe,
Though hope is frail, it's hard to kill..."

Free for 3 months!

2009-11-17T14:02:00.002+08:00

I am finally enjoying myself, not having to crash in university and worry about anything to do with university work until next year! But now this means that I will have to find jobs for this summer's vacation.

Time to start sending out resumes and applications!

Student Edge Blogger!

2009-11-09T14:51:00.002+08:00

Finally featured in the Student Edge website. I had the job of taking and editing the photos for this week's voxpop on their website!

Sacrifice

2009-10-29T17:09:00.002+08:00

"It's not always Rainbows and Butterflies, it's Compromise that moves us along"

She Will Be Loved

Maroon 5

You know what darling? Sometimes, as a couple, we will always have some issues that arise whilst we are together. But it doesn't mean that you sit down and contemplate about the relationship and just end it just like that.

You try to sit down, with a clear mind, tell your partner what's working and what's not. "I don't know", isn't an answer that we want to hear.

I understand that you're trying not to hurt me because you are frustrated that you're not in love with me just yet. It's okay. Some people fall in love faster than others. Some take months, some take years, some even at first sight. So who are we to say that it's wrong not to fall in love within a few months.

Although it has only been a few months, we never argued about anything else. Isn't that a sign? Unless you're keeping things to yourself and try not to hurt me.

Furthermore, my love, I know we rushed in. What ever that made you like me, may have just been infatuation or lust. But somehow inside, I think we are very much compatible. Why you have grown tired of me, I do not know but it's still not a solid enough reason for me to think that we should just end this right now. Think about it for a second, if all married couples were to just divorce just because they have grown weary of each other, the divorce rates would just sky-rocket. There are ways that can make our bond grow stronger.

I know you don't have the time to be there for me, nor give me undivided attention due to your responsibilities as an individual. You and I know, I'm trying so hard not to be clingy. Sometimes, I get moody and just need you to be there without thinking about your feelings. For that, I'm sincerely sorry and will take the blame for being angry at me. But is it so bad that we have to end it?

You further stated that you don't know what you want. You don't know if you should continue to be in a relationship or be single. When I asked you why you asked me to be your girlfriend in the first place, you said that you wanted me to be at that time. Whatever you do or say, has its consequences and take the responsibility.

I actually could forsee you growing tired of me, but I was trying so hard to ignore it and give it the benefit of doubt that you may have been stressed out with work or just being tired.

You said that you kept thinking about the first night you met me. I keep thinking of all the good times we had together. It's painful to see it just disappear.

You don't want to hurt me. But what's hurting me more is you giving up so easily. Humans can never predict what may or could happen in the future. We don't know whether it's going to work or not and yes, you don't want to hurt me even more. But who's to say that you might actually develop something later? You're hurting me by being so cold, so indifferent to me now. Every morning, I wake up with a heavy heart knowing you're not going to be there. And even if you are, what we had before is gone. I am willing to take the risk and gamble for the future. Isn't that we do? We take risks in our life. Like BlackJack, it's 50/50. But if you don't take that risk, who knows what the cards may hold?

If you have said that you cannot stand me, that I do things that make you angry, I would have been okay to just be friends and walk away. Until now, I cannot pin-point the things that makes us incompatible.

I may have done something "stupid". Don't forget, that people are built differently. Some can handle or see things clearer than others. They are able to look past things and keep moving on. To some, it's just what they are living for. Are you calling everything that have killed themselves or are practicing self-infliction stupid? Everyone has their reasons, although not everyone can see it from their point of view. Remember that.

It's not okay that you're gone, but if I love you and you're happier this way, I'll just have to accept and sacrifice the fact that you're gone. Note though, my love, I'll be here waiting for you.

Nobody's Home

2009-10-23T12:51:00.000+08:00

Well, I couldn't tell you
Why she felt that way? She felt it everyday
And I couldn't help her
I just watched her make the same mistakes again

What's wrong, what's wrong now?
Too many, too many problems
Don't know where she belongs
Where she belongs?

She wants to go home but nobody's home
That's where she lies
Broken inside with no place to go
No place to go to dry her eyes
Broken inside

Open your eyes
And look outside find the reasons why
You've been rejected
And now you can't find what you've left behind

Be strong, be strong now
Too many, too many problems
Don't know where she belongs
Where she belongs?

She wants to go home but nobody's home
That's where she lies
Broken inside with no place to go
No place to go to dry her eyes
Broken inside

Her feelings she hides, her dreams she can't find
She's losing her mind, she's fallen behind
And she can't find her place, she's losing her faith
She's fallen from grace, she's all over the place, yeah

She wants to go home but nobody's home
That's where she lies
Broken inside with no place to go
No place to go to dry her eyes
Broken inside

She's lost inside, lost inside

-Avril Lavigne-

Curse thy Emotions

2009-10-21T13:28:00.002+08:00

I do not know why.

I do not know whether it's linked to my monthly process of producing hormones and losing blood that turns me into an emotional wreck.

I just feel like eventhough I have family and recently, a Mr. BF of my own, I can't help but feel so alone. Why is it I feel like I have no support when I face problems. Sometimes, although I'm trying to be independent, some support will be nice. I feel like if I were to tell anyone anything at anytime, the problems in which I face will be scrutinized and criticized to the max.

So now, if I were to tell anyone anything, I have to think twice. I guess I now understand what my ex told me off for - for not being supporting enough and being mean although I do it for fun. I now see it when people around me do that, although the majority of the time, I take it in with good humour and take it as self-constructive criticism.

I never ever said my self-confidence is high. The person you see, is just someone who's trying to mimic the person she is trying to be. Fear of rejection. I actually enjoy having someone to reassure me that I am good enough, but that would be vain. It always seem to me, that what I do, I have to asked to be praised. Am I not good enough?

I got told off once for putting effort in making someone happy. "You always try but never succeed, what's the point?". So much for appreciation.

I guess in the end, I just want someone to show me some support and most importantly boost up my morale. I can't take another hit this year. There's already too much shit going on.

And Does He Notice, My Feelings For Him?

2009-10-20T03:23:00.005+08:00

Photographer/Designer?

2009-10-16T08:07:00.002+08:00

I am wondering. Wondering if what I'm wanting to do in life is to just be a flight attendant for the rest of my working life? You know? Work whilst in the mean time travel, save up, buy a house, a car and the rest spent on traveling around the globe.

Realistically speaking, being a flight attendant and if you're single [not married and no kids], you're able to afford nice things.

But what about photography? I actually don't find it too bad.. Just that the fact that printing them out in 8 x 12 cm is a bitch but it's fun. Design.. That's what I want to do as a major, but got stuck as a minor. Oh well, perphaps I can do it after this course. Hopefully, I'll have a PR and it'll be half price!

I don't know. Here I am at 19 still figuring what to do after I graduate from uni. I need to think fast. I need a plan...

Morning Memories

2009-10-14T19:12:00.003+08:00

I love the way you hug me to sleep.

The warmth of your body keeping mine warm.

The breath against my neck whilst you're there beside me.

The touch of your skin against mine

The way you hug me when you leave me before you leave for work

The kiss you give me before you depart

All these things I shall cherish for the time we're together

These are the things that make our bond stronger

These are the things that will make me fall for you

Deeper than ever

"Hold me, like you held on to life.."

I wished that moment lasted forever.

Learning and Breathing

2009-10-12T01:29:00.002+08:00

We have all made mistakes. Sure, I mean I am not a saint. Realistically speaking, I'm simply just a 19 year old girl with little or no experience what-so-ever, so pray you do forgive me for my mistakes. Being naive and rash with my decisions (basically acting or speaking without thinking), I know I do somethings that may have hurt you without realising it and I pray that you'd guide me and teach me. Most importantly, I want to say I'm sorry.

From what I have learned from a short relationship, saying sorry too often can make the apology seem worthless. However, I want you to see that I'm still in the learning phase of life and like many other kids, I do tend to repeat some mistakes even without realising it. Bad, I know and I'm trying hard. Although I may not reach the standards you want me to be, trust me, I'm trying my hardest so someday you'll eventually love me for who I am. More importantly, have faith and trust me.

In a way, I'm trying to get rid of my flaws. I am attention-seeking, but in this point of time, I'm trying my hardest not to be 'clingy' and not to ask for much, but I also get frustrated sometimes hence the message. I regretted that the next day.

Despite the way you have found out the message, you actually don't need to apologize. I was shocked but actually quite happy you care... until you found the message of course!

I have to admit that despite my sometimes rather cheery, wacky appearance, I am a rather insecure person. I think it's the fact that I have lost too many friends that I think are important to me. I do not want to lose another one.

For me, like I've said, you're almost perfect. I'm starting to fall for you with what's left of a heart of mine and I hope you treat it with fragility and some TLC. I just don't think I can bear losing another someone whom I'm getting attached or attached to. You should know. You've been down the same road. I just seem to fall head-over-heels much faster than some. And perphaps I am also in love with the idea of being in love. Hopeless Romantic.

In the end, I cannot read the future but all I hope for, for now, is that you'll love me. Though you've asked the question whether I'd leave you, I can promise you that if ever that day comes, the person to call it off would be you. It'd never be me.

Let's never get into such situations in the future, shall we?

The Last of My Teenage Years

2009-10-08T12:10:00.002+08:00

Here's a very sweet note that I received in my birthday card from Icee. Although I've known her for a short period of time, I've come to realise that she and I are similar in many different ways.

Thanks for being there for me. Thanks for being a friend.

Dear Mesha,

On your 19th birthday, marks the end of your teenage years and the beginning of adulthood.

It is a very special day in everyone's life because on this day, a person cherishes the old moments filled with love, care and shelter but now the person is moving towards adulthood, where he or she will be loaded with responsibilities and independence of thoughts and expression.

"Over the hell and sliding down fast, you knew being young just couldn't last,
Your back goes out, the eyes grow dim,
You can't hear over the background,
Aches and pains are constant companions,
You wear bigger shoes because of your bunions!
The memory is fading, names you forget,
You really don't want to get older - and yet...
The sliding down the other side of the hill can give you quite an invigorating thrill!"
-Lona Hatfield-

Love,
Icee

Clean. Simple. Perfect.

2009-10-05T17:08:00.005+08:00

Clean. Simple. Perfect.

Something to what I need right now in my life. A new, clean, or should I say a fresh start? Although it's almost the end of 2009, I guess it's been a hell of a year that I went through.

I started off with a layout that was the complete opposite. Actually quite similar to what I had before. Black with shiny bits here and there. But the coding somehow fucked up. Nice isn't it?

Found that out today.... so I had to resort to this one! The best bit with blogging and actually meddling with the HTML coding allows me to change the name from EMPTY to my name -MESHA!!

I hate coding but with a little practice.. WOW.

Hheheheh guess I'm not that stupid after all!

Welcome back to the world of blogging!!

XOXO

A New Chapter UnRavels..

2009-09-30T05:19:00.005+08:00

Hello!

THIS BLOG WILL CONTINUE WHEN I'M DONE GIVING IT A MAKE-OVER!

A NEW CHAPTER IN MY LIFE.

A FRESH LOOK.

TO FORGET THE PAST

AND START ANEW

XOXO

It's Not So Bad After All...

2009-09-30T01:26:00.002+08:00

I guess from the last post I wrote about Love, I have moved on. The benefit from being hurt in a relationship would definitely be waking up to the world as a stronger person. Actually, I should re-phrase that. Stronger, with a shield.

A very thick shield.

You have been hurt once. You do not want to be hurt again. It will take forever before I start trusting the person enough to open up my emotions.

Yet, the best bit I have learned this year [especially for a female], the ability to seperate sex from feelings. I don't know why, but my feelings has been drained. I wonder if I have a hole in place of where my heart should be. Or has it been buried so deep inside, it will take only the right person to bring it back out again.

However, this person is like me. Which scares me. Especially the part where both of us have a hollow place in our chests. Our hearts, broken. Forgotten.

I'm in love with Love. When will it come pouring down on me?

When I have learned to love? I gave it my all, but it was never good enough. And I'm still waiting here to be loved.

Boy oh Boy.

2009-09-13T17:42:00.002+08:00

Dear new potential boyfriend,

I hope if you ever do stumble upon this post, maybe you'll see me in a different light. Am I really evil? I don't think so. I am not really your average girl but I am at the same time. But see, I used to be a nice girl who'd do anything for someone I like. Even if I'm not perfect, I try. If you can't see it for a certain period of time, I give up easily now as I do not want my efforts to go to waste.

You and I have much in common. Our hearts were once shattered by someone we loved and cherished. To a point where we do not care anymore. About others around us or even ourselves. For all I know, my heart is still shattered and will remain in pieces until someone is willing to patch those shards of my heart back together again.

Being clingy. Let's delve into this topic shall we? Most girls are. I do not own a dick so that will probably fit me into the category of the emotional species - female. I cannot see how clingy I am, although I do know I am sometimes. But why do I do it? The constant thought of texting you and wanting to know what you're up to, is simple this: I like you and therefore I'd like to spend time with you. To add to this, I am a girl who loves constant attention. You give me attention and I'm easily satisfied. But. Normal guys, don't want us to be clingy. Unfortunately, I crave attention. After awhile, if you don't bother having the initiative to call me or text me, I have come to a point where I lose attention in you too. There is no point where my efforts spent on texting you, wanting to see you go down the drain. Fuck that.

Ok. Perphaps I'm being irrational and paranoid. But look at it this way. If you like a person, wouldn't you like to spend time with the special someone a bit more? Texting. Hmm. Tough decision isn't it? Texting constantly is like texting a special friend. When you said you'd call, please do.

This is getting complicated. Here's what I want. If you're sincere about me, then do put in more effort to see me. Rather than me asking you what you're doing and attempting to join in. You want some alone time, but not weeks on end without talking and just texting. May as well you and I be friends and I can go meet someone else who'd give me more attention than you do.

I wish you all the best in your quest and perphaps if you do it well enough, my heart will be yours.

xoxo

Rant of the Month

2009-08-25T17:26:00.003+08:00

It only feels like yesterday that I have moved into a new place and I have only just settled in but yet, I'm sitting here wondering "When will I ever have a place called home?". It is amazing how much junk can accumulate over time and 3 years worth is alot of shit.

She doesn't even want to be friends anymore. When asked the question whether she wants to be, I get a question as a response "Why should we be?". Despite our many arguments, I'd never thought that someone could so easily forgo a friend. I said that we should be for old time's sake. "No. Not after everything that has happened". For her, she took the alternative path, for us to go our own ways. It is indeed better for her and me I guess, but she makes it sound as if I'm the one that causes all the pain. I wonder if she can see that she is also the one that caused me alot of heartache and pain.

Please, please forgive me
But I won't be home again

Maybe someday you'll look up, and barely conscious you'll say to no one,
Isn't something missing?
You won't cry for my absence I know.
You forgot me long ago.
Am I that unimportant?
Am I so insignificant?
Isn't something missing?
Isn't someone missing me?

Eventhough I'm the sacrifice,
You won't try for me not now
Though I'd die to know you love me
I'm all alone
Isn't someone missing me?

Please, please forgive me,
But I won't be home again
I know what you did to yourself
I breathe deep and cry out
Isn't something Missing?
Isn't someone missing me?

And if I bleed,
I'll bleed knowing you don't care
And if I sleep just to dream of you
I'll wake without you there..

-Evanescence [Missing]

I guess you've found someone else to love. Someone who could make you love her as she is. My hate, frustrations and anger has faded away. In the end, I guess deep down I still love you. Be free and be happy although to many, you still are a bitch [everyone thinks you are and I probably am one in your friends' eye.]

I am still packing away. Succumbing to a new strain of flu. I think it's time to invest in multi-vitamins and flu boosters.

Retaliation

2009-08-20T01:09:00.002+08:00

This is something she wrote and also probably why I fell for her in the first place and decided to give it all a go. In the end, it was all just a lie. Go ahead and read.

Sometimes Mr. Right’s a SHE

It seems that every woman is looking for the perfect man. The one and only Mr. Right. Does this Mr. Right really exist? I myself really do believe that he really does. But sometimes, he’s a she.

Please don’t give me the crap about God made Adam and Eve instead of Adam and Steve. I will choose not to go into details about what I think of Christianity. It takes up too much time and brain cells to actually make people understand how my brain works.

Back to Mr. Right… The perfect man would be loving, caring, sensitive, good looking, intelligent, diligent, independent, ambitious… and the list goes on. But as we all know, there’s no such thing as perfect. So why can’t a tom be Mr. Right? (I’ve decided to use the term ‘tom’ as butches didn’t seem to cover the right amount of people while ‘tom’ is more subtle and easier to identify with)

I dare say that 99% of toms in the world share similar characteristics with the idealized “Perfect Man” or Mr. Right. We are loving, caring, sensitive, protective and loyal. Loyalty is probably the trademark of all toms. Why do I say that? Well, the perfect example would be to look at a tom like a little puppy. An adorable, playful and loyal puppy that no one wants. A tom is like a puppy cause no matter how badly you treat the puppy, it will still stay by your side. It will be sitting there with pleading eyes that says “Love me, please?”. But no one ever stays to love them… maybe once in a while they’ll stay, but not for long.

Speaking from personal experience, I have yet to meet a tom who hasn’t has her heart broken. Our hearts are broken so often and very often by the same girl. And yet we still choose to love that one girl. We would give anything and everything to be with her. But it never seems to be enough.

And always so often we see the girl that we love get hurt again and again by guys who she thinks are Mr. Right. But all we can do is stay by her side, wishing and wishing that she would one day realize that the right one is right there in front of her. But it is almost impossible thanks to the mindset of the society that frowns upon people like us. We say we’re born like this, it’s innate. They say we will burn in hell for choosing this way of life.

Do you think we CHOSE to be like this? We weren’t given the luxury of choice.

To all the girls who have had a tom by her side, please open your eyes and most importantly your heart. It doesn’t hurt when you say you don’t want us, it doesn’t hurt when you say we are wasting our time. At least not as much as when you say that you love us, but can’t be with us because of our sex. Personally, I’d rather hear the girl I love tell me that she doesn’t love me for I’m not good enough rather than hearing her say how much she loves me and want to be with me but can’t because I’m a girl.

This is just something for all the PLUs who have heard the lame excuse “I’m sorry but I can’t be with you because you’re a girl”. I think that sentence is bullshit because it’s not the sex that matters… it’s the feeling."

When there is finally someone there who actually fell for you, you took it all for granted. Amazing how things work in this life, doesn't it?

希望你会永远的心碎和寂寞

A Whole New Look? Probably Keeping it ....

2009-08-09T16:25:00.003+08:00

Ok. Got my hair chopped right off. I seriously could not be fucked these days to keep my hair long especially when split ends kick in [inheriting thick coarse hair is a pain at times]. So much easier now to wash and day. Although it also means blow-drying so that it maintains its volume.

When I mean short, almost boy short. In terms of Asian pop-boy-band short.. and even shorter than them.

Here goes.

Ok. So, I haven't cam-whored in a long time. Gimme a break.

Moving Out

2009-08-04T13:54:00.002+08:00

I just moved to a new place from Wilson not long ago, June 14th. Now there is an option of me moving into my best friend's place. Should I or should I not? Sometimes you get so comfortable living with that person, you don't want to leave your comfort zone. It was ok for awhile. Now it's just... so.. indescribable. I want her there but I don't as well. My mind is in such a state of confusion. I wouldn't know from wrong to right.

Fuck. What should I do?

Hypocrites - You're Not as Mature as You Seem to be.

2009-08-02T15:58:00.002+08:00

You are a filthy lying hypocrite. Do you know that? All the things I've said are done mostly unintentionally and I strived to change for the better. On the other hand, you're just lying your way through. Save the hassle of trying to be a "nice" person when your actions speak louder than words, my friend.

You told me that I was immature, spoilt, naive, clingy and depressed. Ok. So the truth hurts, but what doesn't kill me makes me stronger right? You, on the other hand, may seem to be all so perfect - judging others and lying so that the person would not have to end up this way. You are just a fucking hypocrite. I've tried to be nice and make you feel happy but you end up abusing this and further more, using me. You don't fucking care. What is the point of being nice when you are so not being friends. That was my aim.

Let's see. You scrutinized me for stealing/using your friends. What about mine? They may not be as close to me but you've just taken over my friends. Congratulations. You don't like public display of affection. You hugged a tipsy girl as if she was your GF. Do you care about your ex? No. You didn't care when I disappeared. You wouldn't know whether I was dead or alive or whether I was sick or not. Did you know where I was when you left me on my own? I was sick and almost as drunk as your friend and was in the toilet for most of the time. Admit it! You just don't care.

I asked you if you wanted to go for a walk and relax somewhere with me as a nice gesture. You declined it by stating you want to stay home and sleep. Where are you now? You're not even home. You said you needed to do laundry. What happened then?

Although in my heart, I am still in love. There will always be a point where enough is enough. You're just a fucking hypocrite. Just tell me the truth for once. You can't see it but if I told you what other people thought of you too, you'd be surprised. But yet again, I know you don't care. Cause that's the way you are. You tried to change me. Have you tried changing yourself? That in itself is just plain, pure hypocrisy. Open your eyes, and see what you have done wrong in yourself.

Just don't cause so much pain for me. My heart breaks each time you do this kind of shit. I'm just so sick of it but I just can't let you go. I've tried. It's not working. Someone please tell me how to remove my heart and bury it deep down the depths of Davy Jones' Locker. I hate you as much as I still am much deeply in love.

Metro City Clubbing

2009-07-27T21:26:00.002+08:00

It's been so long since someone actually brought a camera down to the clubbing arena. Hell, I sure don't bother bringing mine anymore when all I want to do is drink and dance the night away and the camera is just an extra bothersome thing to be carrying around whilst you're squeezing your way through the crowd and I don't think I'd like to drop my camera by accident onto Metro City's sticky dancing floor or prob get it wet when some idiot accidently spills his drink swaggering his way across.

However, it was a different night that night. I bumped into almost everyone I know within the uni circle in Metro City. I met up with my class mate Li Ying and my friend Fei there. Guess who else I bumped into? Gustave, the whole CS group and other ex-classmates of mine! Wow. It's surprising how many people you know. But unfortunately, just only close enough to say hi-bye.

You Know What Love Is?

2009-07-17T17:40:00.004+08:00

It's so funny how life changes so fast. How things turn either fantastically or horribly the next second or day? I know what I said is the "I-know-you-don't-have-to-tell-me-common-sense-thing" but just let me have my moments of reflection.

What about hope? Hope is what drives me, you, all of us. So does faith. Faith in what you're doing so you can continue having hope. I thought I had hope. Apparently I was wrong. When I sunk to a point where my life or existence didn't matter to me anymore, you where there. For a while, I thought that 'Hey, maybe it's not so bad. Having someone to care, love and look after you'. I thought that I could let my guard down and get to be pampered. Some thing I've been longing for. However, what you might not understand can turn someone's hope in to dust.

Sure, I may be childish, irresponsible, a-bit-clingy, attention wanting. After all, I am still a kid. Technically still 18.

I crave to be loved. To be loved as I have loved. Whether one sees it, well.. it's up to them hey? It's also funny how people can complain about their past and not having receive love from the person they love and cherish. And when there's someone to love you unconditionally, you can't see it. You just don't love them nor appreciate it. You take them for granted.

On the other hand, no matter how you mistreat us, we'll still be there. Waiting for every chance to get closer to you. To have you near, hoping to hold you close although it pains us to know that may never come. To hear your woes, your anger, your silent screams, your frustrations. We love you unconditionally, for who you are and your flaws. People may tell us to leave you. To find someone better cause we deserve someone better. But it's so hard to let go. Having to kill the one thing that motivates us to breathe. You may think it's a childish, immature thing to say but for some, it's the only thing that keeps us moving. Having lost that, is like walking around in the dark, stripped senseless of direction, emotion and motivation.

Love. You cannot. I repeat. Cannot love someone partially. It's either you do or you don't. Despite the fact that the person may drive you up the wall occasionally. After awhile you look past these things and see the inner beauty. Look on the good side. We are all imperfect but somewhere inside there's something good in all of us. Love is when you can look past these flaws and love them for who they are.

Love. You care about the person unconditionally. Whether they are near or far. You want to spend time with them. Cuddle with them. Do things together. Even simple things like spending a night watching a movie at home or out for a walk. You try. Cause for all these effort, in the end you know it's worth it, having the person you love beside you and with you. That's the reason why some complain their partner is clingy or too attached. We want to spend time with you, every minute, every day, every second. Sure we all need personal spaces, so make time to go out with your friends. We all do. Hell, even I would complain if I couldn't see my friends.

Love. Is a learning process. It may be my first but if you love a person. Teach them. Grow with them. That is what makes you stronger. Makes us stronger if we learn. If you don't teach us, how will we ever learn? Go through the pain one after another and learn it the hard way? If you can, at least show us the way so our future prospects of relationship does not have to be as painful as this.

Love. Do not lie about it. Do not say it due to stress/peer pressure/guilt/etc. You're doing harm for both yourself and the other. If it's not love, still do not lie about wanting to be together and thinking of a future. It gives us hope. Do it out of your own initiation. Cause you want to. You do not know how much it hurts when on the other side, we realise that it was all just a lie. It hurts even more when we're in love with you. It's as bad as someone telling someone close to you has just died in an accident. Or a knife being stabbed in your heart. Yes. You can literally feel the pain and loss and hurt from the lies when we all thought it was the truth.

And even what we went through hurts like hell and thought that we would hate you. No. Being in love with you takes away all the negativity. All the lies. And even if you were to continue telling the lie of loving us. We would accept it readily. That is how much love I'm talking about. Tell us all the lies as long as you'll be here beside us.

Lovers. You're suppose to be the best friend and something more to us. Where we have no secrets to hide. No past hidden from each other. Trust. And even it is something bad, look forward to the future together. Something that you don't see eye-to-eye with? Discuss calmly, and make the best compromise together and also keeping in mind what your partner has in mind too. No burden is too heavy to bear. And we all have our pet peeves. Don't keep it in til the day comes when you explode and we have no clue what is going on. Love also comes with patience. We all forget once in a while what you don't like or like. All I can say that the key to a healthy relationship is compromising. Alot. And also spending time together whenever you can. Take a date, somewhere romantic once in a while. Money SHOULD NOT be a problem. If you save up 2-dollars a day, by the end of the month there should be enough for even a table somewhere for two. Just don't keep thinking expensive stuff. We'd be even be happy if you could take us out for dinner or a movie once a month. Something special.

Nothing is too much or little when you're in a relationship. It is not an obligation to do somethings. We do it cause we know it makes you happy. So we do it cause we want to make you happy.

Falling out of love. Moving on. Finding someone new. Or time heals. I personally don't believe either one of these is fully true. Somehow, somewhere deep inside. That special person will always remain. And somehow, you'll still love them for the happy memories you once had together. Getting over someone really quickly is just a sign of lust, like or a bit of attraction. Not love. I believe that when you love someone. They'll always be a part of you. The memories are always there.

I don't know how much this will apply to everyone but this is how I feel. I'm still in love despite all the lies and having my heart bled. Only here trying to change myself [although people say never try to change someone and people can't change overnight] so that you'll love me once again. If not now, hopefully in the future. I need hope to carry on for the faith I once had is gone.

From Me to You

2009-06-17T21:47:00.000+08:00

It sometimes takes the hard times, to show how much I love you;
Just how much I need to always have you near.
And even though I know it, I still have to learn it.
The hard times help to teach me, just how much I care.

For when the hard times bring us back together
We are always closer than before
Then I realize I love you better, and I am
Thankful for the hard times, that make me love you more.

A lot of things can happen, if we go on together.
We can't know just what, the future has in store.
I'll love you in the glad times, the easy and the sad times.
And even in the hard times, I will love you more.

For when the hard times bring us back together
We are always closer than before
Then I realize I love you better, and I am
Thankful for the hard times, that make me love you more.

If It Was Only A Love Letter.

2009-06-17T21:43:00.000+08:00

Even though we fight a lot, I love you.
We fight, I think, because the stakes are high.
I sometimes get so mad I cannot stand you,
But underneath my anger I could cry.
I have an uncontrolled need to control you,
To be your only destiny and guide.
I know it isn't fair to try to mold you,
But my poor love's entangled in my pride.
Ah, love! Please love me even in my fury,
Which rises like a tide beneath the moon.
I plead before my only judge and jury:
I want to change, but know change won't come soon.
Love finds it hard to let the loved one be
The person who is loved so passionately.

Something From Joel. Depressing Shit.

2009-06-17T21:35:00.002+08:00

You can shed tears that she is gone,
or you can smile because she has lived.
You can close your eyes and pray that she'll come back,
or you can open your eyes and see all she's left.
Your heart can be empty because you can't see her,
or you can be full of the love you shared.
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,
or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.
You can remember her only that she is gone,
or you can cherish her memory and let it live on.

*shakes fist at Joel*

Oh Mi God

2009-06-10T14:45:00.003+08:00

OMFG. I can't believe that this blog is dead.

DEAD I TELL YOU!!

Now I'm just going to write about the darnest things that happen in my life. Nope. NO PICTARS FOR YOU (imagine Seinfield and the Soup Nazi voice. If you haven't heard it, you suck).

Holidays are here and the depressing thing is: I'm working. Nice people ask whether I'm going back home for a month or am I going anywhere special. No. I'm glued here. I have to work and pay back loans here and there. Gahhh!

I think if anyone were to ask me what I want right now, my obvious answer is a GOOD trip away from all of this. Even for a week it'd be nice. Somewhere with no worries and just plain good old sight seeing or relaxation. Ahh.. There goes the bubble. It popped. Snapped right back into reality.

I actually really would like to go back to KL for a few days and eat to my heart's content. I'm rather sick of sushi and indomee. I miss good food :(

Ok! That sums up my rant and nonsense for the week.

Human Marvels

2009-05-31T14:42:00.002+08:00

Something interesting to read about oddities of nature. The weekend has been fantastic where I don't have to work or do anything. But this also means that time passes slower and I'm running out of movies, so I've decided to read something fun.

http://thehumanmarvels.com/

ENJOY!

The Story of a Girl Who Never Was and Never Will Be

2009-05-24T18:24:00.003+08:00

I AM NOT GOOD ENOUGH I AM NOT GOOD ENOUGH I AM NOT GOOD ENOUGH I AM NOT GOOD ENOUGH I AM NOT GOOD ENOUGH I AM NOT GOOD ENOUGH I AM NOT GOOD ENOUGH I AM NOT GOOD ENOUGH I AM NOT GOOD ENOUGH I AM NOT GOOD ENOUGH I AM NOT GOOD ENOUGH I AM NOT GOOD ENOUGH I AM NOT GOOD ENOUGH I AM NOT GOOD ENOUGH I AM NOT GOOD ENOUGH I AM NOT GOOD ENOUGH I AM NOT GOOD ENOUGH I AM NOT GOOD ENOUGHI AM NOT GOOD ENOUGHI AM NOT GOOD ENOUGH I AM NOT GOOD ENOUGH I AM NOT GOOD ENOUGH I AM NOT GOOD ENOUGH I AM NOT GOOD ENOUGH I AM NOT GOOD ENOUGH I AM NOT GOOD ENOUGH I AM NOT GOOD ENOUGH I AM NOT GOOD ENOUGH I AM NOT GOOD ENOUGH I AM NOT GOOD ENOUGH I AM NOT GOOD ENOUGH I AM NOT GOOD ENOUGH.

This concludes the Story of a Girl Who Never Was and Never Will Be.

Semester Break From Uni?? Bull Shit I Tell You

2009-05-22T17:04:00.005+08:00

So. Just came back from another exhilarating day from uni.

JOY.

This week I finally managed to accomplish a presentation and an essay which I have just handed in today. 2 down and 2 to go.

Dear me.

I was suppose to go on a holiday this coming semester break. Down to New Zealand to visit my mum. But now? I'm stuck here in freaking Dullsville, working my ass off on a month's "break". Farking fantastic.

What the fuck happened to my break?!? I'm not even looking forward to this coming semester break. I just wish someone would just sweep me off my feet and take me somewhere else for once.

Although this year has been a real roller-coaster ride and meeting my girlfriend is one of the better things this year, I still can't help but feel so lethargic, so DEAD. Something deep inside me have already died. I just felt like dying today. Not my usual suicide thoughts but that my body will break anytime soon.

Oh yeah, I forgot to update that my lymph nodes are swollen. The last time this happened was when I suffered from a eating disorder back in 2004. That happened due to the lack of nutrition
I was getting. This time? I suspect either I worked too many hours, the lack of sleep and food or my smoking habit. I doubt smoking as if it were to happen, it would have happened a year ago. Now, it's a size of a small freaking marble.

I'm popping pills like Dr. Gregory House. Codeine infused pain-killers and Difflam lozenges.

GIVE ME A FUCKING GOOD SURPRISE FOR ONCE YEAH?

SOMETHING TO FREAKING CHEER ME UP!

I have been saying this for a long time, but I guess no one notices it anyways. Not like anyone notices me.

Man Soup?

2009-05-21T11:27:00.002+08:00

From correspondents in Berlin
May 18, 2009 07:49am

A GERMAN worker was boiled alive in an empty industrial-sized soup vat while trying to clean it, tabloid newspaper Bild reported.

The 36-year-old, named only as Markus, was scrubbing the two-metre-high pot when the lid accidentally closed, automatically starting the jets of boiling water used to disinfect vegetables.

"For reasons we have still not cleared up, the disinfection process started too soon," a police spokesman told the paper. By the time the unfortunate worker was found, he was already dead, Bild reported.

The factory in Luebeck in northern Germany, which employs around 200 people, has been "provisionally closed," according to its owners, Erasco - a subsidiary of US soup-maker Campbell's.

http://www.news.com.au/perthnow/story/0,21598,25498956-5008620,00.html

Lost Independence?

2009-05-19T22:05:00.002+08:00

Oh dear.

Mother is moving over. Til I graduate and find a job. I wonder how restricting she'll be?

Other than that, it's good. I don't need to cook for myself and buy the weekly groceries and financial issues. Good being a parasite again for the current situation.

However, I'm going to miss smoking and spending 7 days at my girlfriend's place.

Compromise. Compromise. Compromise.

She's Living My Dream!

2009-05-13T14:41:00.000+08:00

Wow. Wow. Wow.

Talk about living the dream I've always wanted. I stumbled upon this blog whilst doing my blogroll.

A forensic student from Murdoch University in Perth, now flight attendant for Emirates.

MY DREAM!!

Here's one quote I've found which I'm going to live by and can use it as a good come-back when some other Asian family member is going to be snobby and scrutinize about my preferred choice of work. Especially for Michael. Here's to you and your flight attendant theory. Suck on it!

"I get to go to places such as these and get paid for it."

Your sons/daughters might be doctors/lawyers/etc.. But how many places will you see in your life? If you're going to say that they are getting paid more than me, I agree, but by the time you save up and see the same places that I'm going to go in my career life, you'll be fucking old! bwahahaha you're not going to enjoy the partying side of it :D

Too Busy For Anything?

2009-05-13T14:01:00.004+08:00

To be frank, it's been a long time since I've blogged and actually put up any photos. Since the financial breakdown, there has been an overload on work, assignments and spending time with my girlfriend. I personally feel so exhausted these days, I don't even have the energy and time for clubbing or stroll down the city [personal stress relief strategy].

Urgh.

I really, really miss 2008. Where I could just go anywhere I like, have a cup of bubble tea or coffee in one hand and just stroll without having the stress or worries of life. Now, it's the complete opposite.

work, uni, work, uni, work after uni, work.....

The viscious cycle continues

I'm just so tired. Tired of uni and of work. But I cannot let go. I feel like I'm being muffled with a pillow whilst screaming. So restricted. So so sick.
And to add to my personal dilemma, I can't do the things I want to do like clubbing, going to karaoke or have a good beer and fries down at the Little Creatures Brewery in Fremantle. Why? Cause I don't have the financial liberty to do so. Even if I have, I don't have the time. On Sundays I just sleep cause I'm just so freaking lethargic.

Energy drinks will be the death of me.

Thank you Vern and Mum.

You're the only reason I'm still here.

This is Why You Shouldn't Use Wikipedia as a Source

2009-05-07T21:55:00.002+08:00

For all you people who Wiki-away. Read this before you assume all you see on Wikipedia is true. You should know that by now, unless you're as thick as a brick wall.

AN Irish student's fake quote on the Wikipedia online encyclopedia has been used in newspaper obituaries around the world, the Irish Times reports.

Taken from Perthnow.com.au

The quote was attributed to French composer Maurice Jarre who died in March.

Shane Fitzgerald, 22, a final-year student studying sociology and economics at University College Dublin, told the newspaper he placed the quote on the website as an experiment when doing research on globalisation.

He quoted Oscar-winning composer Jarre as saying, "One could say my life itself has been one long soundtrack. Music was my life, music brought me to life, and music is how I will be remembered long after I leave this life.

"When I die there will be a final waltz playing in my head, that only I can hear."

The quote was posted on Wikipedia shortly after Jarre's death and later appeared in obituaries in major British, Indian and Australian newspapers.

Mr Fitzgerald told the newspaper he picked Wikipedia because it was something a lot of journalists look at and it can be edited by anyone.

While he was wary about the ethical implications of using someone's death as a social experiment, he had carefully generated the quote so as not to distort or taint Jarre's life, he said.

Mr Fitzgerald said he was shocked by the result of his experiment.

"I didn't expect it to go that far. I expected it to be in blogs and sites, but on mainstream quality papers? I was very surprised about," he said.

He said the hoax remained undiscovered for weeks until he emailed the newspapers that had been deceived to tell them that they had published an inaccurate quote.

The Irish Times said that despite some newspapers removing the quote from their websites or carrying a correction and the fact that it had been dropped by Wikipedia, it remained intact on dozens of blogs, websites and newspapers.

Smile

2009-04-30T00:30:00.003+08:00

You comfort me when I'm down.

You understand how I feel and how I think.

You're helping me to get through the hardest period in my life.

You do the smallest things that I take into consideration and am grateful for it.

You have a place in my heart.

I can't wait for the day that I will be in yours.

I will be waiting ever so patiently.

Just wish it will come sooner.

Cause I will give you everything.

"And will she see, how much she means to me?"

Guess I'm never Good Enough

2009-04-21T16:28:00.001+08:00

Don't need to explain.

I already know I'm not good enough at anything or for anyone.

Sorry to let you down.

Photoshop Assignment Complete - Amy Lee

2009-04-08T12:08:00.002+08:00

Wowee. What can I say? Within the short period of 6 weeks instead of the normal 12-13 week course duration, I have actually learned how to use Photoshop properly. Last year, I didn't even know how to use Photoshop. I was better in Paint than in Photoshop! This reminds me as to how ignorant I am at times but at least you know then that I do NOT Photoshop my photos cause I didn't know how to!

Digital Visualizing was a pretty tough course. They taught you the basics of Photoshop on the first day for like 1 and a 1/2 hours and the rest of the class was left for us students to start on our first project!!

Surprisingly, I got 18/20 (with a little help from my good friend ^_^) for the first assignment. The second one in which I received no help at all, I don't even want to know the marks. For the final one, I can't wait to see the marks XD

I'll just blog about the most interesting one and although you might be thinking as to WHY I'm blogging about Photoshop I don't really care. It's for my own personal ego boost that I need now and then, so "Meh" to you as to why you think this post is so lame.

Ok. Ok. I shall cut straight to it. I had to choose a person [whomever I liked, in this case Amy Lee], draw her in Photoshop from scratch and choose a background that is sorta suitable and render the background in using filters so that it loses the photographic quality of the photo. And most importantly, put your name on the front.

Comments welcome! (o^_^0)

Things Come But It Mostly Goes Away..

2009-04-05T22:13:00.003+08:00

For one thing I've learnt about you, I really can't trust everything that you've said. I hope someday maybe you'll wake up and see how to do things responsibly and take measures for your actions.

I've also learnt that if you like someone to a certain extent, you can't hate them,;they chose the other. But learn to let go. I finally understand what it's like to let someone go and get some satisfaction in knowing that they're happy and you take all the burden to yourself.

Is that a sacrifice coming from me?

Perphaps.

But I also think I deserve better.

You're just case No. 2.

When will I learn from my mistakes?

Mandurah Crab Festival

2009-03-11T00:18:00.005+09:00

Crab Festival.

Sounds tempting doesn't it.

Well, crab as in crustaceans not the parasites that some may find in their pubic region. Goddamn you perverts.

Jeremy invited me for this event and I accepted his invitation in hope of getting crab. Sadly, there wasn't much crab to go around since only ONE store sold crab.

Urgh. So much for crabs.

But on the other end, Jeremy, Marissa and I enjoyed the atmosphere of the Festival. We went for food sampling, not to mention, wine tasting as well.

By the end of the day, we were all sticky, sweaty and long for a good night's rest. Marissa couldn't handle it either and snoozed when we sent her back.

I fell asleep in Jeremy's car. The embarassing part - he took a shot of me sleeping with his iPhone whilst driving. I woke up due to the noise but thankfully it wasn't a shot of me with my mouth open/drooling T_T

Damn you Jeremy! *shakes fist*

Cirque Du Soleil - Dralion

2009-03-04T15:15:00.003+09:00

Things seemed to have improved so far. I had the best time so far coming into 2009. My friend and I decided to go to the Cirque Du Soleil show in Perth [they've extended the show!] and I had discounts [apparently] if you buy them online. However, Netbank decided to fuck up last minute and we wanted to watch it desperately.

The show was at 8.00pm and it was 7.50pm.

10 minutes?

It's never too late!!

We sped all the way from South Perth to Langley Park, parked in the most expensive parking area [$10AUD for the miserly 2 hours] and ran inside to the ticketing counter and paid the full price of $89AUD each. [Thanks to friend-who-does-not-wish-to-be-named paid for me first]. Although the seats looked far from the stage, it was pretty close.

Live music performed along with circus acts = magical! From all the shows I've watched on TV, watching it live kicks ass. Not to mention, the A/C inside the tent was superb [FYI I love my ventilation].

If you don't know much about Dralion, the theme was the mix of the East meeting West. But personally, most of the costumes were mostly Asian based with infusions of Red, Gold, Yellow and Black. Some of the stunts were unseen before in the other shows which made me go "WOW".

In addition, if you're a fan of the Cirque Du Soleil music genre, this one is just as fab. What can I say, I love it!!!!

Souvenirs was a must. Although they are ridiculously over-priced for something like a key-ring [I collect key-rings and I bought 2 thinking it was a cheaper souvenir.... Boy, was I wrong. 2 keyrings costed me $36AUD. $18AUD each???]. If I was any richer and had money to spare [like last year] I would have gotten myself an authentic mask from them. They are wicked!

I came home feeling very satisfied. One of my many small dreams coming true :)

When I arrived, there was more good news! I've gotten tickets from Nuffnang AUS for the show "He's Just Not That Into You". They were giving out 25 x 2 passes to go see the show. Guess not many bloggers joined the competition. All the better for me!

Moreover, to add to my delight, I received my little BUDTRAPS. They are simply small devices which allows you to store your iPod cords tangle-free! I was suppose to pay $2USD for the postage but realised that my Paypal account only had $2AUD [$1AUD short] and decided to pay later. Who knew that they've already sent it without me paying? I basically got it FOC. They not only send 1 but 3 additional ones [4 all together! HOORAY!] supposedly for you to give them out to your friends [a marketing scheme I suppose]. But I'm just too miserly and only gave one out and decided to keep the rest for myself.

Best day in 2009! 3 March

Zombified

2009-02-14T01:14:00.001+09:00

I can see the pattern already for 2009.

My blog is going to be so blank.

No photos.

No.

Nothing.

Nil.

All I do nowadays is wake up, work, come home, relax, sleep.

And the cycle continues.

Fun isn't it?

Welcome to 2009.

Imagine when uni starts.

I can already imagine the cycle.

It goes like this: Wake up, work, go to lectures/tutorials, come home, study (finish any assignments or homework) and sleep.

Cycle repeats itself the next day.

Joy..

Curtin University, Here I Come!!!

2009-02-10T16:13:00.002+09:00

Ironic, but I'm finally getting into uni!
Have to add as a 2nd year student.
Bwahahaahaha indeed.

Bitch in Me

2009-02-08T20:58:00.004+09:00

Another entry on ranting. Boy, I do love to rant don't I? It's probably the fact that I can't rant out loud in person that I have to rant it out here. Why not?

I've been feeling really tired lately, and yesterday I actually managed to sleep for 16 hours. Unbelievable.

Went out clubbing yesterday at Metro City with Vern Tee. I don't know why, but clubbing doesn't feel the same for me anymore. Not that I have been out clubbing for long. It's just that maybe I don't really enjoy dancing. And with recent tummy upsets, I can't hold drinks in my stomach long either. They normally end up in the toilet bowl 10 minutes after I've drank them. Such a waste of alcohol.

And then today. Sunday. I hate Sundays. It's like the end of the weekend and you just know you have to wake up and go to work tomorrow. Damn, I do miss 2008, where I didn't need to work and had no worries about financial issues at all. I like my job, but when you have to put on a fake smile to greet customers, that's so wrong. Customer service. Mm.. So hard to put on a fake smile when you're like an empty bowl of expressions.

"You need more friends". Humph. Fuck to those who even think about these kind of responses. You don't know. Friends are so temporary and you don't even know who are "friends" or should I say acquintances? People I know? Urgh what gets me frustrated is that some only give oral advice. I'm like "TAKE IT ALL BACK". I don't need oral advice. Seriously. Call me an ungrateful bitch.

So what? Sue me.

Do you think I'm stupid or something that I have not thought about the alternatives. All you can do is sit there and repeat what I've already thought of. Now that's just plain fucking annoying.

Those who have offered to fork out money, I thank you now. Waleed, Tony and another friend. I thank you for your sincerity and trust. I have to thank Tony especially since I only knew him for a few months and through Lin Hu. The money is all sorted out now so it's fine.

Come to think of it. I think I shall label most people I know as acquintances. That is a more suitable term for those that I know.

What else.. gee. So much to rant and hence this weird order. I just type what ever I'm thinking right now.

Oh. I nearly forgot.

Valentine's Day.

I should not be thinking about this now, but sooner or later, when that day approaches, it's going to hit me. So why not rant about it now?

It's a festival to mock singles. Seriously. You stare as couples go by and walk by hand-in-hand.

Humph.

Girls get showered with the boyfriend's attention and vice-versa and all the lovey-dovey crap they have on display. You argue - what about family?

Ahem. My mother is a thousands of miles away and I'm here alone?

GAHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. This lonely part of me is killing me. Eating me up from the inside. All people can say is MAKE MORE FRIENDS. WELL HOW ABOUT I TELL YOU NOW THAT NOT ALOT OF "FRIENDS" ARE WILLING TO SACRIFICE THEIR TIME TO SPEND IT WITH ME WHEN THEY HAVE EITHER WORK, THEIR SPOUSE OR OTHER FRIENDS TO KEEP THEM OCCUPIED.

WTF lah. Friends. How long can they keep you company when they have problems of their own or other friends. They can't be with you 24/7.

I think I'm going nuts here. My mental health has deteriorated from the recent crisis and on top of this, I have no one PHYSICALLY to turn to.

One can only last that long.

Good news at last!

2009-02-04T17:30:00.001+09:00

The money came in today! It's a tad bit short, but I'm sure I'll be able to fork out another $100 :)

Hoorah!

Curtin University, here I come!

Sally's Song

2009-02-03T17:17:00.002+09:00

I sense there's something in the wind
That feels like tragedy's at hand
And though I'd to stand by him
Can't shake this feeling that I have
The worst is just around the bend

And does he notice... my feelings for him?
And will he see? How much he means to me.
I think it's not to be.

What will become of my dear friend
Where will his actions lead us then?
Although I'd like to join the crowd
In their enthusiastic cloud
Try as I may, it doesn't last.

And will we ever... end up together?
No I think not
It's never to become
For I am not the One..

Listing what is possible to Achieve

2009-02-02T20:57:00.002+09:00

Let's see.

No one can possibly loan me $10k straight up. Why not break it down then? I can pay it back all on the 20th Feb and the distance between the 11th and the 20th is 9 days. Give it 10.

For the record, I think zomfgwtfbbq can vouch that I don't even enjoy people paying for my dinner or lunch. I do not like being in debt. Nor do I enjoy going around asking for money. I guess this is how fucking desperate I am, going around asking if people are willing to chip in their bit to try to make this thing work.

Secondly, going back to Malaysia is the worst case scenario that could ever happen to me. 3 years worth of junk. Moving back is a waste of time and money [if I have to ship it all back to KL] and not to mention the re-application fees of $400AUD or RM1200 for the stupid student visa. Ok. This is as my last option.

I'll be popping in to Curtin to ask [if not plead] for an extension and grant me my enrolment before payments. If they say yes, hallelujah. If not, back to square one. But what I know from my previous experience with CIC, is that they gave a shit load and shot me with questions about my fees and it was only cause I had proof that I paid that they allowed my enrolment. Imagine not paying at all, and still asking for extension!

Crap.

Cibai betul.

I'm not so pissed cause I've got my friend's AC, which retained my sanity.

Ok, ok. I might be wallowing in self-pity. So sue me.

Mesha,
is hardening-the-fuck-up. And apparently is kulit tebal.

Just When You Think You're Almost There..

2009-02-02T18:00:00.003+09:00

...you fall back to the black, stenching pit of doom. Urgh. How fucking frustrating.

Mother told me the wrong date in which the term deposit was supposed to end. Earlier she stated 8th and now when she checked back it was the 18th! Uni starts on the 16th.

Back to square one, but can't blame my mum. She's trying her hardest to support me now and it's unfair on her to lose interest that she's been waiting to harvest for the last 8 months.

Haiz. Now I have to find people who are willing to lend me $10,300 AUD for a period of 10 days. But how many people are willing AND is able to lend me that amount of money? Not many. Well, I guess, breaking the sum down plan to a reasonable amount to be borrowed might work, if I had only more close friends that has trust in me.

So far, I've found one. Waleed. But don't know how much he's willing to fork out for the time being. We shall have to see. :(

True Friends only exist in Fairytales

2009-02-01T21:17:00.003+09:00

I've been watching Heart of Greed for the past month now and I realise there's something that is so hard to get in this world.

True friends.

How this drama is related to the topic of real friends is shown between the friendship between the main characters Sheung Choi Sum and Tong Chi On (Tak-tak tei). Choi Sum's problems seems to occur throughout the drama, but since she has became friends with Chi On, he has always been at her side, pulling her through sticky situations.

What reminded me of my current position, was when Choi Sum's irresponsible, elder brother used her to loan money from a company and she was stuck in a financial dilemma, Chi On lended her the amount of money. No questions asked! And the amount ain't little either.

Although Chi On is from a really well-off family and can afford to lend her the money, where do you find a friend that would lend you that amount of money. The amount of trust that he has (they had only been friends for a relatively short period of time) for her is immense.

Which also leads me to think how people view me as? For those that had lent me money, I returned as soon as I had it. I guess $10,000 AUD is too much to ask and I don't have friends that would lend that amount to me anyways (or don't trust me enough with that amount).

Well, I can't really say either that I don't have any good or close friends. But the extent of their help is limited. Ok, ok I'm grateful for the friends that I have, but I guess I've been watching too much of this drama that I expect more from friends.

Or is it cause I don't really have any? Who are willing to spend the time to pull me through. I know I'd do the same for them.

The most credit I have to give to are Bel and Jeremy. They've listened to my shit and at least made an effort in trying to get me not so emo so I can retain my sanity. Also have to thank Francis for the dinner tonight. I can keep the left over risotto for tomorrow night! Yay!

Moreover, to finish off this post. I have deleted most of my Malaysian "friends" or should I say classmate off my MSN. I wouldn't call them friends. More like people I know. No, I'm not a bitch, but I think it's clogging my MSN and a waste of space when they make no effort in keeping contact with me (oh, yes I've tried it for the first year I came here. I had to initiate every fucking conversation or e-mail.). Hence you're so not worth my space or time. Some people don't mind it but I think that's just frustrating. So, Nice knowing you but GTGTHXBB

Mesha,
Still at the brink of sanity.

Screw Up

2009-01-31T10:02:00.003+09:00

Oh yes.

My biggest fear has come true.

I bombarded his emails.
No response.

And if you think that isn't desperate enough, I called and left him some 6 miss calls and one voicemail.

No response.

I chat him up on Skype.

No response.

This is fucking great isn't it? Someone I thought was reliable, now screwed me over. Please, if you didn't want to support, say it to my face. Don't leave me hanging here. If he had excuses with personal or business problems, at least tell me so I don't have to put up with this kind of shit. At least then I'll have a clear plan as to what I can do to save my own sorry ass.

I've been panicking although there is nothing I can do. The feeling of hopelessness is making me lose it. Nothing else has brought me to this exact feeling right now. Not even me failing the IB and had so much problems with the uni applications.

It's Friday night your time. Banks are closed and what the fuck am I going to do now?

This is Mesha.
And she is screwed..

HELP?

2009-01-29T01:29:00.011+09:00

I think this will be the most personal and insecure blog I have written in a very long time. Now that I look back, I can see how immature I have been over the past few years. For once in my life, I feel so hopeless and insecure about my future.

Some of you that knows me personally might perceive me to be this kinda cheerful girl that rambles on complete bullshit at times.

I am not her. That's just an image that I hold to disguise who I am on the inside.

My sponsor hasn't been responding to the emails I sent concerning my uni fees and I told him that it has to be sent this week. I told him somewhat 2 weeks prior as to how much I need and that it has to be in by this week.

Nope. No response.

I don't know who to turn to and how to react. I am somewhat in a shock state.

The fees aren't due yet, but I must say it's soon. Soon as in February 10, 2009 soon. The total cost of my semester fees? $9,600AUD.

Yup. That's a shitload of money and if he doesn't send, I'm pretty much fucked. My mother has offered to send me some if it has come down to that situation, but she's financially tight too. AND that money that she is offering comes from her own savings. Taking that out from the term deposit means she is going to lose somewhat $2000AUD worth of interest. For that reason alone, I do not want to financially burden my mother. She has already gone through enough for me. But that the hell am I going to do?

She's already in a panicking stage and so am I.

Where the fuck am I going to get that kind of money if he doesn't send?

It's partially my fault. I look back and see how stupidly I wasted my money on unnecessary items that I do not really need. It was just a "I want" attitude that I had and now I'm sitting here full of regret, frustration and the only thing I can do is sit here and PRAY that he sends it soon. Even next week would be great.

But to prepare myself, I have to think of the worst scenario. What the fuck am I going to do?

I don't have any real friends that I can seek for help. And even if I really do, who's going to give me a loan of $10,000AUD?

None right?

I used to rant about stupid things such as I'm single blah blah blah, which is true, but in the end, it is not as huge as the situation I'm in.

Omg. I'm literally breaking down due to the panick attacks I'm getting every few hours when I'm not distracted by work and other house chores.

I really am alone in this situation. The only thing that drives me forward is that I have only myself to rely on and not break down. I have to be strong.

It's not like I have a choice anyways. If it's not me that is holding myself together, who will? Who will sit together with me and get me through this rough patch?

No one.

I still can't believe I'm actually getting into a uni and it's only a short 2 years away of completing my degree and I have to be in this situation. Fucking great isn't it?

If I don't enrol, the case would be that I'd get kicked out of Australia and try to reapply for the semester in June/July. The problem is: Where the hell am I going to store 3 years worth of stuff that has been accumulated over the 3 years that I have been here in Australia?

Like I said, I don't have that many close friends here that will pull me out of this shit!

My god. My child-like behaviour last year has really taken it's toll on me, and I'm definately beating myself up for that stupid mistake.

But no use crying over spilt milk. The deed is done.

Thankfully, [thanks to Kelvin], I have a great part-time job at the cafe in the university that is sustaining me for the time being. That's what I'm living off at the moment. There's barely enough food at home too in this point of time. I feel so degraded and this IS how low I am.

Zomfgwtfbbq normally uses a quote "Harden the Fuck Up". Believe me I am. That's the quote that's holding me together now.

Mesha is no longer the girl you think you know.

I'm someone... else.

Overall, I guess this is a lesson. To be wise financially. And also, how alone I am when I'm in shit.

Burps

2009-01-27T18:26:00.002+09:00

I cannot burp.

Seriously.

This has been occuring for a few days, where I can feel the gale in my tummy ready to emerge to cause some havoc, but it just won't come up.

I suspect it is the Coke's fault, but it normally comes up it is needed!

Anyone has any suggestions as to what could be done to relieve my inner-tornado?

*Tummy rumbles*

CNY on the Cbox: Cow Madness

2009-01-25T18:27:00.007+09:00

And just when I thought I was normal. It all started off this afternoon where I came in and laughed my ass off and WAS ACTUALLY PLEASED that my nickname had remained normal as Mesha. Other chatters had their name changed in celebration of Chinese New Year: Year of the Ox. I came back a few hours later and BAM.

Mooosha.

WTFreak?

Kenny always lurks and probably saw that I was actually happy being normal.

Or should I say Kenniuuu?

Yes! We made him change too! *does a jig*

See! See!

Other chatters have been changed too!

Munaksss -Mooonaksss
RJ - RJ the Buffalo
Stan - Steak
zomfgwtfbbq - zomfgwtfbbq beef steak (afternoon) --> zomfgwtfbbq beef burger
Stellix - Stell-ox
Nicola - Nicowla
Zoe - Zo-ox
Wenpink is nice - Wenpink is a cow
Naeboo - Naemoooo
Guy Fawkes - Cow Fawkes

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!

GONG XI FA CHAI!

Ang Pau Na Lai!

First Nuffnang Gathering in Perth

2009-01-22T23:53:00.006+09:00

No. I'm not some pretentious, wanna-be famous blogger just cause I went to a Nuffnang event. I really wanted to see and interact with some of the local bloggers here in Perth.

Guess what.

Perth's Nuffnang gathering was small.

I mean really small. Like what? Some 20 bloggers?

From right to left: Will, [I have no clue who], Vern Tee, Martyn, Me, Marie and her friend.

Bottom image: Ming and Vern Tee

Ok. The bright side of things is that I've met Karen Cheng and a few other interesting bloggers like Vern Tee and Will. Oh not to mention Ming [co-founder of Nuffnang] and Martyn [Nuffnang Australia Supervisor].

Karen Cheng and I

Nuffnang's co-founder, Ming.

Going to such meetings where they actually gave a speech really made think. Should I do Advertising and Marketing as my minor? Or should I go for PR instead?

O_O

Decisions, decisions, decisions....

*Head explodes*

Dinner @ Ha-Lu's. Round 2

2009-01-22T00:04:00.003+09:00

Ah. I never thought I'd go back to Ha-Lu's as it's located in Mt. Hawthorn. Hard to get there when you're a student and it's also out of the normal student's budget for food.

Oh well. Anything for good food and good company too!

Jeremy is Takeshi's ex-colleague that I met during my first round to Ha-Lu's. The first time I saw him was at Bel's and Takeshi's wedding, although I did not talk to him at all (He was one of the few good-looking men at the wedding.. What?! We women deserve some eye candy too ok?)

Anyways, later on, he joined Facebook and I cepat cepat added him. Long story cut short. I was bored, he has a meeting with friends at Ha-lu's. Spare seat. I got invited. :D

Damn. Ha-Lu's food is so good. The portions are ridiculously small though. However, it's the quality that matters. Quality not quantity.

Later, we headed to a cafe nearby Ha-Lu's and got gelati and coffee and some dessert. Although, I don't eat much nowadays, I can see where the fat comes from.

Kacak-kan? ;P

Mother in hospital T_T

2009-01-21T15:18:00.002+09:00

Again. What happened this time? Urgh. She should really just get a hysterectomy and it's all over. Man, I thought it would have been a good day since I received my first pay! I called her, only to realise that she's sick. How could it have gone wrong? Mm. Oh well, I really hope she gets better soon. T_T I'm now worried on top of all the work that I have to go through. This year, 2009, is indeed Annus Terribilis.

Epic LOL material

2009-01-21T00:20:00.005+09:00

This happened yesterday afternoon with the debate of the mod's name colour. We used to be blue, like any other normal registered user, then Kenny changed the mods to maroon. Got used to that.. and then THIS?! OMFG Pink! And it's not that I hate pink, but when I chatted, the pink was blinding and to top it off, I had a headache. Kenny popped in for a while and had some lol material going on with zomfgwtfbbq also being one of the anti-pink mods. Take a look!

Working Life

2009-01-17T02:13:00.003+09:00

... isn't as glamourous. Yes. I'm stating the obvious but guess I am too used to my free life, where weekends are spent at home on the computer. Laze in on a Saturday afternoon with no worries at all. Gah. What did I sign myself up for?

Ok. Ok. I shall stop whining and ranting but I miss having to sleep in on weekends and this is my first week of work! WTF?

Guess it's the money that's making me work. Not that I'm paid much though. At a really ridiculous wage of $8AUD an hour, it's slavery!

Moreover, my boss does not tell me when I should work. It was only through MY effort of calling in that I found out that I did not need to work the Friday night shift. Really WTF situation. You booked me in for Friday and you don't call me to inform me? Urgh.

Ok, it's 2.17 and I have 5 hours left of sleep. Go me.

Morning shift for Mesha.

Fuck this shit.

Lin Hu's Farewell

2009-01-12T00:57:00.004+09:00

Ah the bugger left us in Perth whilst he's busy partying back in Penang. That bastard. I'm roasting in Perth! You should have stayed and enjoyed the heat with us! Hahha. Although I knew this guy for a short period of a few months, he proved to be a pretty good buddy. Partying/Drinking buddy to be exact. Thanks for everything! Especially letting me crash in your sister's room and stealing your bedsheets for the night when we were drinking :)

Dedicated to the crazy fellow:

Tony and Lin Hu
Kenny
Roger

Hell on Earth

2009-01-10T02:27:00.002+09:00

Someone pass me the shotgun and I'll happily shoot myself during the hottest period in Perth. Sometimes I do wish that someone could just take me away to somewhere cold. Preferably to the Northern Hemisphere where it's winter instead of summer. Ok, so it may not be the end of the world but sometimes it really feels as if Satan came up to our level and brought whole of Hell along with him. With the average temperature of 34 degrees in summer, I am willing to do anything for air-con (well, not anything of course but I'll bribe people to let me crash at their place if there's AC). Ok, so I'm a whore for AC. Shoot me.

My First Job!

2009-01-07T18:58:00.003+09:00

OMG
OMG
OMG
OMG
OMG

I've finally gotten myself a job! Yay! Ok. Nothing special to some of the normal peeps, but it finally means more independence on my part! It's an alright job although the pay is low at $8AUD an hour. Hey, it's better than nothing right? Since I'm doing only 2 classes a week, I am deciding on getting a second job in Curtin, selling food to uni bratz at $14AUD an hour.

Wish me luck on the 2nd one!

New Year's Resolution and Pact

2009-01-02T01:34:00.002+09:00

Here's my New Year's Resolution:

Working much harder when I get to university.
Getting a job.
Getting a BF - DEADLINE IS END OF AUGUST 2009
Getting a car and a P license.
Being cleaner and neater
Lose weight
Save money - this means no more shopping!!!! D:<

A New Year and a Micro Firework Party

2009-01-01T22:40:00.007+09:00

At Last.

The year 2008 has passed and a new year has arrived.

Like I give a shit.

It's just going to be another lonely year for me, so what's the point of really celebrating it. Am so not looking forward to this new year.

Urgh.

Perphaps the only thing that I'm looking forward to is getting into university.

Stephanie and K picked me and Lin Kah up to South Perth to watch the firework display and it was just OK (I've seen better in my time whilst I was in Brisbane - the annual River Fire display) then dropped me off at Lin Kah's place (I crashed over since he had air-conditioning at his place and I didn't). Lin Kah had some left over sparklers and we decided to make use of them during this festive occasion. We had quite a bit of camwhore moments but it's all good. Well, at least my NYE didn't end up as lonely as I expected it to be. Thank you Lin Kah!

HAVE A FUCKING HAPPY NEW YEAR SUCKERS!

Christmas Hols

2008-12-29T00:17:00.004+09:00

The fine two weeks break that we CIC students get for Christmas is great. More time for socialising and I find that absolutely fantastic. Let's see how I spent it shall we?

23rd - 24th Dec - Rottnest Island 2D1N trip

24th - 25th Dec - Christmas Eve party at Lin Hu's house (crashed over)

25th Dec - BBQ Party at Lin Hu's friend's (Ivan & Moe) place

Pic 1 - Lin Hu

Pic 2 - Lin Kah

26th Dec - Boxing Day Shopping Spree!

27th Dec - Went out with Edward for lunch and later joined by Jack. KTV and Pool.

Pic 1 - Jack singing Karaoke

Pic 2 - Edward

Pic 3 - Steffi and Fred

28th Dec - Lunch with Bel, Takeshi and Paul

"One fine day I shall pop Edward's other scrotum. He keeps pinching my fat and calling me Fei Mui! WTFKNSTNSCB he has some fat on him too hahhaha FEI CHAI." [27/12/1008]

It was so sweet of Bel to crochet me a cute little bear as a Christmas present for me! I already felt bad that I didn't get them a wedding gift (as per requested on their wedding invitation) and now she actually put in effort to make me something! But I don't celebrate Christmas unfortunately. I will have to get them something. For some reason, I feel like buying a rice cooker for them. See how cute it is!

Nice isn't it?

Rottnest Island Revisited

2008-12-26T21:32:00.001+09:00

Finally back in Perth. For the hols I decided to go with my house mates for a trip to Rottnest Island. Again. Well, it's the only time that I can drag them somewhere. This time instead of a day trip we decided on staying a night at one of Rottnest's accomodation - backpacker's lodge.

On the way to Rottnest Island via Rottnest Express ferry. Camwhoring with K.

The Attack of the Quokkas!

Our accomodation for the night.

K and Stephanie

ahhhh... taking a sip of Pipsqueak Cider.

K as superman!

What's a student holiday without some alcohol?

Taking a camwhore break after cycling to Parker's Point (and there were many freaking hills!)

Our last lunch on the island before heading back to the mainland.

1/2kg of King Prawns!

Talk about food orgasm!!!!!

Nonetheless, I'm now two shades darker and have a fucking ridiculous sunnies tan on my face.

My tan is not even and I'm peeling.

I feel as if I have eczema.

Fuck.

It burns!!!

I Shall Return

2008-12-23T02:06:00.003+09:00

Ah. I'll be away for two whole days! Not like it makes a difference nowadays anyways. Yes, I have not been blogging for a while now. Just seemed to me like there was nothing really special to blog about. Ah yes, I nearly forgot about my recent clubbing escapade but I shall do that when I return! Just too knackered to actually blog about it now since I have to wake up at 7am to get ready and why am I not in bed? Am eating a cheeseburger and a slurping away with a frozen coke from McD. I just got back from KTV not long ago. You see, I'm trying to maximise my time and energy of my youth while it still lasts.

Blah.

It's 2:11am.

I should be in bed.

What can I say?

I'm an owl. But I really should get my fat arse to bed. OK. I'm really going off now.

I shall return.

First Step to Driving

2008-12-13T22:30:00.002+09:00

Finally, I have decided to go for my L's in Australia. No. I do not know how to drive yet but yet again this is just a stepping stone for me to learn how to drive. The L license (Learners' license) in Australia basically means that I have passed the theory test and have to find a driving instructor or someone who has had their P license for over 4 years to teach me. Now, all I need is someone to teach me...

My First SLR Camera!! -- Canon 450D

2008-12-10T19:15:00.004+09:00

Ah. What a life. Sometimes it's just so nice to be able to splurge on something you really want and be thrilled about your new toy but then worry about the savings!!! No, I have not hit the bottom of my bank account yet, I always leave a certain amount for back up in any case of emergency. Anyways, I had to go to uni and hand in my uni application form. Gosh. Brought back bad memories of high school where application to uni was my living nightmare. Hopefully I pass every unit this semester. Even if it's just a pass I'm happy! I really don't ask for much in life do I? I mean in terms of how far I'm going to get in life. I do not really have any plans of getting rich (not that I can get rich anyways) and all I want to do in life is to fulfill the simple pleasures of having to see the world (travel) and take photos and just document my journeys. Photography is also a good way for documentation and I have been fascinated with SLR cameras since I've first laid my hands on my friend's old Canon SLR. Anyways, back to the topic. I arrived at Perth city around 11am where I had to get some information about applying for a credit card and by the time I've got it settled, I managed to meet SC up for dim sum! YAY! First time meeting SC. She is quiet, but has very interesting things to say. Basically spent the whole day chatting with her as to get to know her btter. She also followed me and show me where the Licensing Centre is but as forgetful as I am, I totally forgot about my bank statement!! KNS. Headed back to the city and went back to Commonwealth and printed off the statement and withdrew cash for the camera.

Canon Eos 450D. Here I come!

Hopefully I'll be able to start somewhat of a photoblog. We'll see! I'll have to get used to this baby first!!

I love my baby!

Ha-Lu: Japanese Fine Dining

2008-12-06T15:31:00.003+09:00

I got invited for dinner with Bel and Takeshi and his ex-colleagues at Ha-Lu's. Turned out to be a fine dining restaurant. Boy, it's been a long time since I've been to a fancy restaurant. What matters most to me at these sort of places isn't the price, it's the quality of the food and service. The variety of food served at that restaurant was rather small but most things on the menu looks extremely yummy. The best deal was the bento meals though (Francis, Me, Bel and Takeshi ordered the same set - The Ha-Lu Bento). Mind you, the bento set was perfect! Not too small, not too large, I consumed every bit of food on the bento box (except for the miso soup). Jeremy ordered the sashimi of the day and it looked fab. Should have gotten that too, but there were 2 slices of tuna and another 2 slices of salmon sashimi.

Ha-Lu Bento Set

Jeremy bought the cute teapot cake as a wedding gift to Bel and Takeshi. Makes me feel bad that I didn't get them anything for the wedding. Since Bel is staying in Perth for a while, I should get them something. And oh, I had 2 very nice eye candy :D

I love good-looking people.

Kati's Surprise Birthday Greeting

2008-12-06T00:56:00.003+09:00

Sometimes I hated having 7 other housemates in the same house. They either finish the quota from downloading too many movies or leave the toilet with icky poo stains after they finished defecating right AFTER my turn cleaning the toilet. I should be as inconsiderate and leave brown chunky stains on the bowl too after I finish shitting. Enough anger rant. The good side in having some close housemates is the surprise they plan for you on your special day. I've had my fair share on my 18th, so I'm not complaining. Albert and Kristy bought Kati just a simple cake from Coles (it's the thought that counts right?) and we all gathered infront of his room door, knocked and sleepily, Kati opened the door and we sang at the top of our lungs "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!".

I love my housemates sometimes. It's a love hate relationship.

New Friends

2008-12-02T20:47:00.006+09:00

Adults are funny sometimes. Some of them just act as crazy as your average teenager, some even wilder. And I think to myself "How old are they?". Are they just pretending or are they really that wild? And they say we teenagers are scarily unpredictable. Fucking hypocrites. Well, I can add another two wacky adult-friends to the list. Lin and Tony. Both in their mid 20s and accountants. As wacky as I am or should I say even wackier??

Le Gay Couple

Lin Hu's weird hand at Big 2

Shanghainese (I'm a quarter, mind you)

A-lak Sze sze Ga Ning (We're family)

"MESHA!!! YOU STUCK THOSE DAMN CHOPSTICKS UP MY ARSE!!", said Lin Hu as the accused me of violating his ass.

I DID NOT! ~~*angelic smile*~~
If you look carefully, you'll actually see a halo.. Can you see it?

CAN YOU SEE IT???

I suck at pool. I really do.

Do you think I'm a freaking Ciggy Dispenser??

2008-11-28T00:09:00.003+09:00

WTF? Is there a stamp on my forehead that reads "FREE CIGGARETTES! ASK FOR ONE AND TAKE THREE FOR FREE!!!". Motherfuckers be warned, if you ask me for a ciggarette I normally don't refuse your want, but helping yourself to my ciggarette pack is over-the-top. Did your parents forget to teach you any manners? Or should I say, don't you feel shameless when you start leeching ciggarettes off someone you don't really know that well. Well fuck you. Over the past year, I admit I have taken a ciggarette or two from friends and classmates that smoke, BUT at least I have the courtesy to ask for one more and they are more than happy to supply me with a few sticks. For the past week, every second day I have to go to the convenience store from around the corner to stock up on my ciggies. A normal pack normally lasts me around four to five days but since the leeching started, it's been used up faster than you can say supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. Well, what can I do now? Just have to hide my ciggarettes everytime I go outside for a smoke. Give and quickly retrieve.

I hate leechers.

Clubbing Escapade - The Court and Paramount

2008-11-23T14:57:00.004+09:00

Friends. There are many different sort of friends. Some that will help you when you're down or in need of things. Then, there are those who are just plain fun party animals. Like Fei. I met Fei recently at a friend's birthday party and she is someone that you'd just love to hang out with. Don't be deceived by her innocent look. Her mind is filled with charred black filth dug out from the pits of hell. Like me. That's one of the many reasons we hang out. Our obvious common interest is clubbing. The joy of being 18 in Australia - having the liberty to dress up, smoke, get smashed and club your legs off LEGALLY. She texted me up inviting me to club with her on a Friday's night. That was the fastest I've ever texted on my new phone - YES. And I had a Friday night booked for clubbing. Go Me.

10pm: I arrived in Northbridge at the agreed meeting spot and she was no where to be found. Turned out she was at the other end of the train station and walking in the heels I was wearing that night was more or less torture. Where were we heading? The Court.

The Court is a famous gay club in Perth with its Gay Pride flag waving in the cool summer's night breeze. I've heard wild stories from my own mother during her flight attendant days about these gay clubs and how you might encounter really bizzare activities within it. I wonder if it's the lack of gay people that day in Perth as it felt like a normal club. I expected more man-on-man action or woman-on-woman action but it was flooded with "straight" Dullsvillians, with an exception of a few drag queens rocking up the stage. Reminded me of Priscilla: Queen of the Desert. Anyways, moving on. They were playing really good R&B music but by the time I've eaten my dinner/supper and getting round to a drink or two, they've moved on to Hard Core music. Tuckie would have been pleased if he was there. He'd probably wet his pants with excitement.

What I like about tagging along with friends when going clubbing is meeting new people. I have complained and am still complaining about the lack of friends I have in Perth. I know it's my first year but what the fuck? I can count the number of "friends" with my fingers. I expected somewhat between the two and a zero figure. I met up with some of Fei's uni mates but they were more interested in dancing than really chatting. I mean, it's a club after all. Not a pub. Fei expected to join her brother later on in the night but Lin ended up in The Court afterall. I've only met Lin once during Li Ying's birthday party but did not have the chance to speak to him. Lin turned out to be the typical Malaysian guy (still with the Malaysian accent) and is an accountant. Asian stereotyping? Go figure.

Turned out we had some things to talk about despite the age difference (again, with most of my friends, I'm the youngest). His colleague, Tony, was there too. The most memorable part of the night was when we Asians turned to technology for entertainment. At the present time - our mobile phones. Since Fei and I blog, there was no harm telling him about this blog. Whilst scrolling, he had a look at the dimsum photo of Francis, Me, Bel and Takeshi.

Lin: Your boyfriend ah?

Me: No. I wish. He's just a friend I met.

Lin: Sure or not?

Me: Yeah, he's a friend of this couple here *points at Bel and Takeshi*

Lin: Oo. Ok.

Me: Yeah met Francis at their wedding.

Lin: *pauses* Francis... Cheah?

Me: WTF? How do you know?

Lin: Hhehe good connections.

Me: @%#$^@#^@#^# Secret is leaked. >.<

To my horror, he knew Francis. There goes my secret. *EDITS OLD BLOGPOST* What a small world! How would one have thought that on the night you meet somebody new, you end up knowing that they know your friends! KNS. Turned out, he was already a "friend" on FaceBook proir to me adding Francis. The next day I texted Francis, and him being a smartypants as always "Lin Hu, I assume?". All hail Francis' observation skills.

At the end of the night, we ended up in Paramount (although I really wanted to go to The Deen) and for me it was pretty boring as the music wasn't really nice to dance too and the sitting area was packed! I ended up having a discussion with Lin and had 2 cups of daiquiry. Nice!

Me and Fei (clubbing kaki)

Left to Right: Me, Fei, Sharon, Tony, Erica, and John

Left to Right: Lin Hu, Me, Fei, Tony, Erica, and John

Clubbing Kaki!!!!

The Ong siblings and I

Quantum of Solace Fails Horribly

2008-11-21T18:14:00.003+09:00

[WARNING:SPOILER ALERT]

Walked by the Piccadilly Arcarde movie theatre and the only movie on that tickled my curiousity spot was the latest James Bond movie that had most 007 fans quivering in anticipation - Quantum of Solace. To be really honest, the latest James Bond actor - Daniel Craig - looks like a pug. Literally. A freaking goddamn whiny pug. I don't care how some magazines rated him as "One of the most beautiful people in the world". They can suck my fictional man-balls for all I care. Friends of mine have all agreed that he is the ugliest Bond. What happened to classy men like Pierce Brosnan? Or the all time fav Sean Connery? There's no sex appeal in this one that's for sure.

The six James Bond actors of EON Productions films.Top: Sean Connery, George Lazenby, Roger Moore.

Bottom: Timothy Dalton, Pierce Brosnan, Daniel Craig

Moving on to the film's plot. Yes, yes. There's always some action in the Bond movies, if not I doubt anyone would be interested in watching it. Not to mention sleek, sexy cars that get smashed (What a waste for a movie of this standard). When one hears the name "Quantum of Solace", I would like to think that there are some scenes that involves a big scientific machine built by secret organizations to take over the world, or something involved with Science. Noo... it ended up being a film about how an organization (in this case Quantum) is trying to control the world's water supply by helping a General to perform a coup d'etat in exchange for a barren desert and Bond ends up saving the day by accidently falling into a sinkhole and discovering Quantum's plans. I noticed that Paul Haggis did the screenplay and I expected something as good as Crash. It was just horrible. Wasted my $12AUD!!!

Dim Sum at Joy's Garden

2008-11-18T03:56:00.005+09:00

Finally managed to lure Francis out of his hole. Well, metaphorically speaking of course. I had to book like a week ahead just for a dimsum. Sheesh, meeting Zomfgwtfbbq was easier than drawing Francis out. The night before (or should I say the morning before) I had only a ridiculously short amount of sleep. 3 fucking short hours. Felt more like a nap. Power nap. Yes, that's right. The reason? Night of clubbing in Metro City. Gosh! The fire alarm went off as soon as we got in and waited somewhat around 20 minutes to get back in. I'm lucky to have this new phone; if I was still using the old Motorola, I'm sure one will be able to see it fly across to the room gracefully before smashing into the wall and I would throw it without much hesitation. This dimsum plan was actually post-poned to Sunday, November 16th, 2008 instead of the proposed Saturday as Bel and Takeshi wanted to go for their free breakfast at the Esplanade Hotel in Fremanle. Killed my presentation plans rather on Monday morning though but it was rather worth it. No regrets as I always say.

We started without Francis since we arrived early! Boy, was it good to eat!

We had dimsum at Joy's Garden (supposedly Francis favourite place) but somehow some dishes weren't up to par with Regal on Roe. The prawn dumpling's (har gao) skin wasn't as smooth and translucent and it was rather glutinous? The prawn dumpling's skin texture was more or less resembled the prawn cheong fun. The chicken feet dish was alright, although I much prefer Regal on Roe's. The only dish that stood out as being better than Regal on Roe's was the Fried Chilli Squid Tentacles. That was spot on and not to mention Joy's Garden had more variety with some of the dishes (I was very much impressed with the Deep-fried Soft Shelled Crab. Absolutely yummylicious!). My appetite has decreased recently with the lack of food at home. Perphaps I'll be able to lose some weight this way and kill my already non-existing metabolism rate? Hmm, I will lose more by next year!

Francis, Me, Bel and Takeshi

After the dimsum, we headed to Utopia for bubble tea and played Chor Dai Dee (also known as the Big 2.5? Or whatever they called it in English at Vivawa.com) til 3 ish. Damn, I won 3 in a row and still had pretty good wins later on (Francis was at par with me at the end of it though D:< color="#cc6600">BASKETBALL. And guess what me Miss Smartypants was wearing? HEELS!!!! KNSWTFCBTNS. Ended up taking my shoes off and went bare-foot but the sun was just too strong. Francis had to get me his mother's pair of sneakers (they were my size fortunately) and managed to play without getting a blister on my feet. Poor Bel got the blisters though from her shoes :(. Geesus! It's been ages since I've played any sports and it was actually fun despite the heat and me sweating. Guess it's who you mix with too. Company matters.

I suck. Horrendously. Some got in some didn't and my face was red. Urgh. What a sight I must have been. Francis' basketball skills were great too and thanks to his long arms, he could manoeuvre the ball like magic. Summary: I had a great time despite the physical activity!

Bigger Breasts Anyone?

2008-11-13T23:33:00.002+09:00

Argh. It's like, what, 3 days after my period? Or is it 4? I don't really remember but it feels like my breasts are still as big and heavy during the pre-menstrual period which normally constitutes as PMS. Have I grown a cup size bigger? I hope not. I'm more than happy with what I have and don't need it any bigger!! However, my lymph nodes near my left armpit is rather tender/swollen. Eekk!! That is NOT a good sign no? However, thankfully it's not just my left breast but both of them. Wonder why? And as to why not to have big boobs:

When you run, it feels like you're having bricks strapped to your chest and it bouncing up and down with the momentum. That's why the older you get, the saggier they are. Urgh.
They make you look fatter with some clothes.
They make you not fit into clothes and you're forced to not purchase that damn shirt you've been oogling at but no means no.

My New Phone! -- Nokia E71

2008-11-09T04:32:00.011+09:00

Ah... Finally, after YEARS of waiting, I finally got my hands on a shiny new phone. No more hand-me-downs!! I still remember the time when I got my hands on a mobile phone when I was just a mere rebellious teenager! The Nokia 3315. Who could ever forget that phone if you were a user? Resembled a mini-brick and was as durable as one. One could have assumed it was made to last forever!! I remember saving up left over change and finally after saving RM300, I went to the store and got it. Best part was it was behind my mother's back! Haha OK OK. So I wasn't the most obedient child in the world, but all I wanted was a phone and my mother was like "Wait til you're 18!". Four years was a long time for me then. So I got it whilst she was abroad. Hee~

The mini-brick 3315

Then, when the first colour phone came out, I was like "COOL" and I wanted one too. This time, I was completely broke as they were so freaking expensive. Grandpa found me a phone (actually found a mobile phone) and passed it to me (since I was so desperate to have a colour camera phone). It was a Sony Ericsson. I invested in a new cover since the original one was scratched real bad. Overall it was a crap phone, looking back at it now.

White or Black?? I couldn't decide. Too many girls went for the white, so I took the black ~

Then, just end of last year, Mother got a new phone and passed her old Motorola E398 to me. I was overjoyed then (although I was dying to get a new one). When I came over to Perth, I thought I could get a new phone with a 2 year contract. The catch was I had to be 18. WTFKNSCBTNS. I hated being 17. No matter what you say, 18 is the best age! So, after YEARS of having crappy phones, I finally got my hand on the Nokia E71!!!!!! $69AUD a month on a 2 year contract with 3 network and the phone comes free with it :)

Moreover, 3 is having a promotion where 1GB of Internet usage comes free with it! Wee~~ The $69AUD a month plan allows me to have $650 worth of Talk & SMS credit and $350 talk time with any 3 network users! I'm overjoyed.

My new phone~~

However, I'm still waiting for my number to be transferred from Optus to 3 network now, and it's still in the process. A bit impatient and frustrated but I'll soon be flashing this new phone around :)

Heineken - Be Prepared Game FAIL

2008-11-04T01:15:00.005+09:00

This is going back like October 22, 2008 when Kenny suddenly popped onto the KSCB and asked us KSCB chatters to play a game. Since I have already sent him an email earlier, he forwarded the game to >_> and then the third game to me. Gosh, the third game was hard! I scored 81 (the higher the worse).

Kenny's obviously not too pleased with my scores...

Last image taken off http://www.kennysia.com/archives/2008/11/adv_beerflavour.php

Bel's Hen Night n Bel & Takeshi's Wedding

2008-11-02T23:21:00.013+09:00

There are some people whom you click with upon meeting and there are some which takes time before you truly know and appreciate them. Bel and Takeshi are people from the first category -friendly and nice - and have proved to be good friends although I've only met them a mere 6 months ago. I met them through Hanny (a guy from uni) --> Hanny's brother, Waleed ---> Waleed's friend, Takeshi ---> Takeshi's fiance, Bel. Pretty complicated huh?

Bel and Takeshi's story is so cute though. I have to blog this one. Bel met Takeshi whilst in Curtin University and that time a room mate. Bel saw him cleaning up rubbish not only from his own unit but for other units too. She found him cute and therefore made effort to talk to him and get to know him better. The funny part is that initially, Takeshi thought Bel was some sort of a bimbo-ish rich girl, sent to Australia just to waste her parent's money. He also thought she was rather silly when she cherished a lil feather duster for the computer when he only bought it at a cheap store. But in the end, they were going out for 7 years! 7 YEARS!! OMG! And they finally tied the knot on November 1, 2008. ~Sigh~ It's so romantic and cute.

Bel and Takeshi are most probably going to move to Melbourne as Bel's sister is there and Bel is going to pursue her post-graduate degree. I am going to miss them when they move :( Even within this short period of time, they proved to be a really, really nice couple which have helped me when I needed help.

The arrangement for Bel's Hen night was even more random. Her best friend added me on Facebook and arranged a surprise dinner (despite the fact she does not know me at all!) and one should have seen the look on Bel's face when she entered the restaurant. Utter shock. What a nice friend to have! And not to mention, the power of Facebook!! Behold! Memories of last semester's Internet Studies is coming back to haunt me!! Noooo..... :(

BEL'S HEN NIGHT

Bel and her funky hat for night
Spicy Korean Seafood Soup and Noodles
Mesha and Bel
Duxy and Bel

Bel & Takeshi's Wedding

Roley's on the Ridge restaurant
People gathering..

Here comes the bride and groom!

~ Marital Bliss~
Signing the marriage certificate
Officially married!!

Bel's mother, Bel and Takeshi

Takeshi's brother, father, Bel, Takeshi and his mother.

Bel's god-familyTakeshi's Japanese friends
Takeshi's colleagues

Bel's Colleagues

Candid shot of Bel's and Takeshi's friends (I am in the official photo but didn't manage to take it with my camera!) =(

Hanny, Waleed, Bel, Takeshi and Daniel

Daniel and Hanny performing

Cake cutting Ceremony

Chocolate Nut Cocktail

(Frangelico, Baileys, Cream, Creme de Cacao)

It's a tradition with the bride to toss her wedding bouquet into the air whilst single maidens anticipate in catching it for it symbolizes that the maiden who is lucky enough to catch it will be the next to wed. Well.. I hope not. I'm only 18 and I don't want to get married so soon!

Rather, give me a boyfriend instead!!

Managed to get a shot with the couple after a long queue..

First thing's first - I did NOT take this pic! Francis took it! (the guy seated next to me during the function) Hahah but thankfully he did. Now I have a nice memoribilia of the wedding and cute Japanese guys :D

Most of us ended up at Bel's place (for unknown reasons) and planned to have dinner with her later on in the evening. However, relying on Hanny for transport meant having to follow his plans and he wasn't "feeling too well" (a quote which I've heard quite a number of times) and that normally means not going. Gah. Oh well, what could I have done right? Thankfully, called Waleed and somehow ended up with Bel fetching me and all of us had dinner at Ipoh Garden Restaurant. And oh! I finally got my sheesha!! =D

Bel dropped me and Waleed off at Francis' place (he was meant to drop us off) and we ended up staying there til 5:30am after 2 sheesha sessions and Texas Hold'em poker rounds. Francis' home is HUGE. If I'm not mistaken, should be a town house (3 stories). Damn envious man. Francis is around 27, has his own home and 2 fantastic cars and not to mention good looking for a Malaysian! Graduate in Pharmacy and post-graduate in Finance (if I am not mistaken). Moreover a very interesting person. *sigh* And oh-oh! Still single! Bachelorette's dream man. I sincerely hope he does not read this =x

~Here's to Bel and Takeshi! ~

Saw V

2008-10-28T19:26:00.003+09:00

[WARNING!! THIS POST CONTAINS SOME SPOILERS]

Went to watch this movie on the October 24, 2008. I accidently walked by Picadilly Arcade and saw that there was a 5:30pm session! Ran upstairs to quickly buy the tickets. I had anticipated this movie since I heard that there was a fifth movie coming out. To be honest, this movie did not reach my expectations - the lack of gore, bone-crunching, blood and toe-curling scenes for a Saw movie and not to mention the twisted games in this film is worse than its predecessor. Jigsaw died but his games continue on with his new student. This is going to one of those never-ending shows which attracts audience like ants to sugar just to see how this is all going to end. But in reality, this is going to be one show that doesn't have a proper "ending". Reminds me of those pathetic soap operas like Neighbours that run on for years and have you grow old with them. How pathetic can you get? I'm not trying to put down those who watch them but like, will you die satisfied not knowing Mr. X will marry either GoodGirl or MissBitch? That's why I don't bother with Bold and the Beautiful, Days of Our Lives, Neighbours and etc. I'd rather watch those Asian Dramas that at least have some sort of ending. Back to SAW V. This movie ties the other SAW movies up although dull in some perspective. Watch it to tie the rest of the other movies up, if not don't bother. I'd give it a 3.5 out of a 5 for this one (in appreciation to try to scare me and many others but failed to).

Nose Stud Fell Out -- Reminder!

2008-10-25T03:49:00.002+08:00

Whilst washing my face and drying it with my towel, the threads of the towel accidently caught hold of my nose stud and yanked it out. Thankfully, that didn't hurt. The process of putting it in was. The stud acts like a screw, securing it in the nose and cause of the bent bit, it was so fucking hard to put it back. I had to go to a piercer, paid $10AUD to screw the goddamn thing in. The process of putting it back was like getting my nose pierced all over again. GAH. Looked as if I've caught the flu bug with my red nose.

Note-to-self:

Do Not Dry Face with Towel.

Bitching Behind People's Backs is "So" Fun

2008-10-24T13:33:00.007+08:00

I've only got one sentence to you and I'm sick of this. Like I wanted to hear your opinions about me anyways behind my back. So when they can talk about me, I can't. WTF is this bullshit? Ok. This applies to me and you too I guess. There. All settled.

GET THE FUCK OVER IT.

THIS IS THE INTERNET

2008-10-23T11:22:00.004+08:00

What the fuck man. Seriously WHAT THE FUCK. Liberalism is bullshit and Socialism took over the Kennysia ChatBox (KSCB). To ensure no spammers or dickheads on the KSCB, there are moderators to look after it. Recently, I emailed Kenny about the situation at midnight or the hours thereafter, where sometimes there is no mods on or the one that is supposedly on at night sometimes is Away From the Keyboard. I just told him the situation and asked him nicely to put more moderators on nightshift. To my surprise, the real Kenny came on the KSCB and started chatting. For confirmation, I shouted out and asked whether he had received my e-mail. He did and the most surprising thing, was that he granted me modship. Little did I know it was a blessing and a curse in disguise.

The very next morning, still gleeful, I opened the KSCB and some alias of mine told me that there were protests against my modship. Old school chatters and other mods?. Okayyy... Why? Cause of my behaviour on the KSCB before or also the fact that I'm too "new" and there were other old chatters that deserved the moderator position more than I did. Ok. Here's the thing:

I took the initiative to e-mail Kenny about the night situation. Did you? I don't know. And just because Kenny granted me the position, did you have to really protest? You tell me this is the Internet and to deal with it, I can say the same right back to your face. THIS IS THE INTERNET. Deal with it. I did not misuse my moderator power and moreover, I'm on at night. You think I wanted the moderator so badly? Maybe I did and maybe not. It was a joke to Zomfgwtfbbq and did you really think I was so thick-skinned to ask to Kenny to let me be mod?

Here's the e-mail I sent to Kenny. I've got nothing to hide.

So? Did I ask for it? I am merely just a chatter on the KSCB wanting something better for other new chatters as they have also been complaining about the same thing. The difference is I took the initiative. And oh, FYI I don't simply click and ban like some moderators I know. As a regular chatter for some time, I know how it feels.

And oh. Before next time you send Kenny an e-mail about me being a moderator cause you think it's "FAIR", what about my part? Do you think it's fair just to complain without me doing any injury to anyone as a moderator?? You want to know what's "fair". Fair is giving me a chance to prove I'm worthy of the position. Heard of something called probation?

Now. It's better out than in. For the 2 days as a moderator, I was glad I was one. Don't know whether I'll still be one after today. But it was nice banning spammers at night :)

Kuala Lumpur Trip [6/10/2008 - 18/10/2008]

2008-10-20T18:32:00.016+08:00

Some KL 2008 memories. My college semester break is so fucking short. 2 weeks!! At least I got to go back any-hoo. Some photos for memories' sake.

Day 1

Arrived at KLIA airport and even before I step out of the airport, I was already sweating. Humidity? 100% Don't you just miss the Malaysian weather? All you do is sweat sweat sweat, wipe, and continue sweating. Thank God for the creation of Air-cons. I will survive! Arrived 6:30 am. Went home to drop off my luggage and time for a proper Malaysian meal. Then went to Midvalley for a nice walk. It's so good to be back (other than the fucking humid weather and slow streamyx connection). Met up with Tuckie for dinner at Madam Kwan's and finally got to see the new wing of Midvalley - The Garden. OMFG. The toilets is is.. IMPOSSIBLE ON MALAYSIAN STANDARDS. It's clean, new and best of all FOC.

Paan Mee

(Chinese way of making noodles by a special techniques of "breaking" the dough into fine strands.)

Pork Stomach Soup (one of my fav dish)

The Garden

The Garden female toilets FTW

I allowed myself one camwhore photo

Day 2

Went to the old Subang airport to queue to renew my passport. Spent 3 full fucking hours there in a crowded and it's fucking hot. Make-up will melt fast at this rate. And there went my RM300 for 32 pages. T_T Today was also the day I got to meet the two beautiful babes from KSCB, Sherry and Lil Zoe at Sunway Pyramid. Sherry arrived first after her class and we waited for Zoe. Sherry decided to go sing KTV at RedBox (as Sherry doesn't want to skate and won't skate). RM16 for students?? OMG so cheap! Not to mention including buffet dinner with really good food. Zoe had such a cute Canadian accent XD and Sherry is really hot *fap fap fap fap* NO. I'm not a lesbian. >.<

Sherry, Zoe and Me.

Buffet ~~ yummyy

Day 3

Didn't do much but went to the police station to report the loss of my wallet in Perth and was asked to write a sentence of how I lost it in Perth IN BAHASA MELAYU. This was when I realised I can't really construct sentences in BM anymore. Oh Well. They let me write it in English thankfully. Next stop. Old Klang Rd for Chow Kuey Teow. One of the best places in KL for it. Worth visiting everytime I go back. Damn I'm hungry for some now to be honest T_T Also collected my passport. I look like a freaking lawyer in my passport. Shit man..

My favourite food to eat in KL. Looking at this makes my mouth water real bad.

Day 4

I dyed my hair brown.

Day 5

Royal Selangor Club for dinner

Grandpa had to play for the semi-finals in snooker.

Also got a fucking pervert hitting on me zz.

Day 6

Midvalley to meet Acey, Zoe, Kcin and Ben. Some of them were late. Ah, the joy of Malaysian timing and not to mention, traffic jam. =..= Oh well, at least they made it in one piece. Sat at Starbucks exchange lame jokes (and some good ones) at the courtesy of Benjamin. Ended up playing pool and at the arcade for a fun round of games :D

Zoe and Kcin

Zoe, Kcin and Me

Zoe smoking?!! OMG!!

So serious for what? Retards. She doesn't smoke. Chill

Lil Zoe and Me
Me and Ben

Lil Zoe and Ben

The Lil Zoe pouts.

AWww love love love

Day 7

Got to see Jan (GAWD.. one year once babe. What a shame). Second time saw her within the 2 weeks and this time went to Starhill to Planet Hollywood for drinks (and ciggies for me) before walking around that area. Seen The Pavillion in so many of my ex-classmates' blogs so I had to check it for myself. It's gigantic and filled with branded goods but it's still nice to see. Sat down at Starbucks, reminisced about the past, talked about the present and hoping for the future. She is one of the few friends that remained in contact with me over these past few years abroad, unlike others that only talk to me when I am actually back in KL and actually dared ask me to belanja?! OI just cause I'm Australia, I'm not rich ok? It's more like, you should belanja me for my one-year-once treat. Anyways, hearts to Jan. Too bad didn't do the photoshoot in time. Hopefully can do it when I come back next year :)

In Pavillion

StarHill (Bukit Bintang) restaurants

Me and Jan
Bukit Bintang toilet?!

Smells like aromatherapeutic Mint upon entrance and you have to turn the wheel to get water. Definately WOW factor. Tips of RM1

Lights at Lecka-Lecka.

MMmm thinking how much the beer would cost and how much $$$ left over..
Jan trying to block the smell of temptation - sheesha!

Monday, 13th October 2008

Meeting with Michael, my step-daddy (technically cause he's sponsoring me).

Meeting only for a few hours as it's his stop-over. Sigh. Once in a blue moon to see him :(

Waiting at the lobby of the Pan Pacific for him with grandparents.

Loves to you Michael, although you might not be reading this, I'm eternally grateful.

Day 9
Mel

Acey and WWW

Went to Sunway Pyramid again to see them KSCB chatters one last time before I go home on the following Saturday. I'm going to miss them for the great company they provided. Miss you guys!!

Wtf. Seriously wtf. I've been sent back in time in Perth. They use computers in sushi bars in KL??????
Mummypimp :heart: Babypimp

The anorexic uncle - Acey

Me and Sue (from way back man)

3 babes.
During the RedBox session, Lil Zoe decided to be a Chinese Vampire for the night. RAWR

Day 9

Went to Suria KLCC to meet another fellow KSCB chatter, Munakss. Nice guy : THANKS FOR SHOUTING MY LUNCH :D Too bad we only had 1 hour plus to catch up as it was his lunch break.

Night time. Pasar Malam @ OUG. Ex- Sentosarians RE-UNITE!! haha it's sad to see that some of them don't meet anymore since graduating from high school. At least I got to see some. And thanks to Khai Yin, I gave Kok Yew a shock.. Muaahha. That guy, damn smart and is blardy funny. Damn I miss Form 3 now.

Michelle Kong

Khai Yin - sorry but I have to post this for memories' sake.
Soo Yang, Keith Yong and Jan

Teng Ri Hao.. grr Harimau

We sat down to chat at Steven's Corner and it started to rain. We were so goddamn persistant, we opened our umbrellas and continued chatting. It was really a funny sight, that the waiter there was like "Come, take a photo.. ahah next day on the Star paper".

THEN LATER... CAMWHORE AT KHAI YIN'S PLACE. ALL YOUR FAULT MICHELLE KONG.

Wendy aka Si Manja and Me

Back in Perth and a $100AUD Richer

2008-10-19T20:51:00.002+08:00

Just got back from Kuala Lumpur yesterday and boy, did I miss KL. I never thought I would miss it that bad (other from the bad Streamyx connection, hot weather and smelly toilets)! Other than that, the atmosphere of being with relatives and people that you like and not to mention food, is absolutely divine. Meeting new people was the best part I would say about my trip. Although there are alot news about people being raped etc by meeting other users from the Internet, your chances of being raped meeting a person in a bar is just the same. The Internet is just a medium for communication, a continuity. So far, I've met up with Acey, Sherry, Zoe, Kcin, Benjamin, Munaks, Sue, Kelvin and Tuckie from the Internet and all proved to be decent people.

When I got back, I had my roomies take me out for dinner as I had no food left in the pantry nor fridge (all got spoilt). Went to NorthBridge for dinner and then for the first time to Burswood Casino. We all planned to start with $50AUD and I was thinking it was going to disappear real quick as I had no faith in myself for gambling. Sat down at that $10 Blackjack table and decided to try it out. Damn it was rather addictive and I actually starting earning more and more chips! (Not to mention I had two BlackJacks in a row). I can't believe I actually earned $100AUD from sitting at that table. I guess this is how the casino earns money. They get you tempted, then addicted then you start losing all your money. Sigh. But not too bad for 3 hours worth of work :D

But like zomfgwtfbbq says, it's not everytime you get to win that amount of money. Beginner's luck I guess, but I think it was rather cool for me as a noob at the casino. I'm already starting to ignore zomfgwtfbbq comments. He leaves more criticism and mockery than anything even as a friend. Supportive huh? Just cause people aren't as smart as you are, doesn't mean you go round putting people down. I'm just stupid, and I admit it but at least so far I'm happy with what I've got. $100AUD for 3 hours play :D Lucky bastard I am

Testing

2008-10-13T20:18:00.000+08:00

109 words

Typing Test

what time will everyone be there tomorrow? (drinking) - The Messiah - #5jntd

2008-10-13T19:48:00.002+08:00

October 13, 2008 at 08:15 The Messiah says Mesha will be there by 2 so all u fuckers better be there by 2 as well

October 13, 2008 at 08:17 SueMeIfYouCan says im gonna be there by 3pm. i got interview la..

October 13, 2008 at 08:18 The Messiah says nehmind i'll be there by 2 as well

October 13, 2008 at 08:19 SueMeIfYouCan says lol..i think by the time i reach. you guys left. wtf

October 13, 2008 at 08:26 Ren says i there after work? 8 or 9pm?

October 13, 2008 at 08:28 SueMeIfYouCan says ur going to pyramid also ah?ren?

October 13, 2008 at 08:29 The Messiah says cb ren so late

October 13, 2008 at 08:30 SueMeIfYouCan says lol..

October 13, 2008 at 08:30 Ren says cb u tot i like u so free no working goyang kaki at, plurk all time, draw shit, eat pork noodle, go here and there a? cb u

October 13, 2008 at 08:31 The Messiah says im godlike, period.

October 13, 2008 at 08:31 SueMeIfYouCan says acey syok sendiri..

October 13, 2008 at 08:31 SueMeIfYouCan says ren, u meeting mesha as well?

October 13, 2008 at 08:32 Ren says duno, shud be gua...

October 13, 2008 at 08:33 SueMeIfYouCan says oohh..see u there tomorrow perhaps?

October 13, 2008 at 08:33 The Messiah asks how do you pronounce "MESHA"? I heard she pronounce it as mee-sha

October 13, 2008 at 08:34 SueMeIfYouCan says mee-sha?i thought mesh-sha?

October 13, 2008 at 08:35 The Messiah says dunnoh, heard she tell someone over the phone as "mee-sha". i thought its "may-sha"

October 13, 2008 at 08:39 SueMeIfYouCan says err..we ask her tomorrow lo..

October 13, 2008 at 08:39 wEtwEtwAtEr says i want to go also

October 13, 2008 at 08:42 SueMeIfYouCan says come along la..if you got no class. LOL

October 13, 2008 at 08:42 The Messiah says don encourage him skip class.. yat sudah bocor his rahsia lmao

October 13, 2008 at 08:44 wEtwEtwAtEr says ahahahah... wtf? i got no class. but i dont know mee-sha?

October 13, 2008 at 08:45 SueMeIfYouCan says lol..what rahsia he got?? cheh..go kepoh la

October 13, 2008 at 08:45 The Messiah says Mesha is Hot Mommah

October 13, 2008 at 08:45 SueMeIfYouCan says hot mommah for acey to ogle kan?

October 13, 2008 at 08:46 wEtwEtwAtEr says duwan kepoh la. later ppl call me kay-poh chi

October 13, 2008 at 08:46 The Messiah says come la sapsapsui

October 13, 2008 at 08:46 The Messiah says sue: i dont ogle at Hot Mommah, i appreciate

October 13, 2008 at 08:47 SueMeIfYouCan says come la..chill la..

October 13, 2008 at 08:47 SueMeIfYouCan says appreciate my ass la..

October 13, 2008 at 08:48 The Messiah says u ask her lar if i OGLEd over her that day

October 13, 2008 at 08:49 SueMeIfYouCan says we'll see..

October 13, 2008 at 09:29 Zoeyve says i have class till 3pm, i'll reach at 4. =l

October 13, 2008 at 09:58 wEtwEtwAtEr says zoe : pull that stunt again! lets go!

October 13, 2008 at 10:00 The Messiah says what fuckin stunt?

October 13, 2008 at 10:07 wEtwEtwAtEr says the big P-O-N-T dot dot dot...

October 13, 2008 at 11:45 Mesha says WTF??? You CIBAIS. Talking about me behind my back hor? So Fun is it? T____T

October 13, 2008 at 11:45 Mesha says FYI, My name is prounouced ME-SHA.

I AM BACKKK!!!

2008-10-08T22:01:00.003+08:00

I AM BACK IN MALAYSIA!!!! AND IT'S FUCKING HUMID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, technically I've been here for 3 days now but today's the only day that the computer isn't giving me the shits. Although it is so fucking hot, I really do miss the food. Ok ok. Family too. I've been running around so much that each day feels like forever. Maybe these 2 weeks will pass a bit more slowly. Gosh. I can't believe I am saying this, but I DO MISS PERTH, despite the shopping disadvantage, at least the weather doesn't kill and I can take a puff when I feel like it and not worry about what the family is going to say about me. Grr..

Day 1:

6:30am -- Arrival in KL

8:30am -- Home

10:00am - Breakfast, took passport photos, police station (to lodge a report about stolen wallet)

12:00pm - Sri Petaling to get my IC reissuance

2:00pm -- Midvalley

6:30pm -- Met up with Tuckie

Day 2:

12:00pm - Subang airport for passport renewal (Sat there for 4 fucking hot/humid hours)

4:30pm -- Sunway to meet up with Sherry and Zoe (both so hot n sexy that depressingly rushed my self-esteem to smithereens!!)

Day 3:

1:00pm -- Brunch at Old Klang Rd (My fav spot for Fried Kuay Teow. One of the best!!)

2:00pm -- Collected Passport

3.00pm -- 1 Utama for shopping and movies (Eagle Eye was good! Not to mention Shia LaBeouf)

Li Ying's Birthday Celebration and Clubbing

2008-10-05T03:28:00.011+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO LI YING!!!

(shit I don't know how old she is now =x)

She messaged me the night before, and told me that she was throwing a dinner for her birthday (we were meant to celebrate our birthday together as our birthdays were pretty close to one another) but things didn't turn out as planned.

Cool artwork on the ceiling in Fuche Restaurant.

Dinner was held in the city at Fuche restaurant in Murray Street. I wore a strapless baby doll dress and a scarf and of all days it was fucking cold. Literally, fucking cold!!! Everyone had a jacket except me. Smart of me eh? Thank God for Mark & Spencer's thick opaque winter stockings!! I met few of Li Ying's other friends, which I thought I got on pretty well with and shared 5 plates of tapas ($44AUD for a set of 5 and divided by 2 = $22AUD per person). Camwhoring was expected, especially within a group of all Malaysians. GAWD. I have NOT camwhored this much in my entire life and LI YING!! HOW DARE YOU CALL ME A CAMWHORE HUH??? HAHAHAHA!!! Ok, ok, it's your birthday.. camwhoring is allowed!! Right? Hhaha one of the things that make my head so swollen is when people ask me whether I'm mixed. Ok. I'm getting vain here, but it's nice to get compliments once in a while. ^_^

Me and the Birthday Girl

Me and Pauline Tay, whom I shared the 5 plates of tapas with.
This Morrocan dish looks superb! Didn' t manage to sample it though.

The 5 plates of tapas we ordered: Marinated octopus, Lemon Calamari, Pork Terrine, Lamb Cutlets, and Mussels.

Group photos
From left to right: Me, Pauline, Li Ying, Fei, Jane and Suba

Li Ying also messaged me to remember to bring my passport and I was like "Why?". "Cause we're going clubbing later" was her response. Clubbing? OMG!! Yay! It may not be much back in Malaysia as age regulations for clubbing aren't so strict, but here in Australia, one has to be 18 to actually be able to get into one. After dinner, Li Ying told me that we were going club hopping, and this includes the GAY club. O_O'' Lesbians kissing is such a turn-off.. Personally, it's worse than looking at 2 men kissing.

Camwhoring in The Court (aka Gay Bar)

My first shot of tequila! Which is absolutely yummy and went down smoothly.

The Shed
Chocolate Pizza!
Me sipping Long Island Iced Tea (which is so over-rated) in The Moon.

We ended up in The Moon, which apparently was where Kennysia hung out most of the time when he was in Perth? <-- According to Li Ying. Long Island Iced Tea which I ordered is seriously over-rated. It isn't as good as some people said it to be. Damn. The Moon had a very cozy atmosphere and a good place to rest after we went club hopping. Damn, heels do kill!!

Overall, I think clubbing is fun with people who really enjoy clubbing! Fei, one of Li Ying's ex- housemate is going to be my clubbing partner (hopefully) and I can at least expand my social circle this way. The experience of actually getting into the club is more empowering than being in it. Guess afterall I finally feel more independent. Hopefully, there is more clubbing escapades to come!

Anushka and I

2008-10-01T19:23:00.003+08:00

Had some lunch in the city in Jaws for some sushi, shopped around - purchased a scarf - and headed back to Anushka's place for some Bollywood action. OMG. Reminds me of Malaysia and their once weekly Bollywood movies. Wore heels. It kills. Hey! It rhymes! haha ok. Lame joke. Have an assignment to tackle. That's all for Wednesday!